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The Stages of Your DIY Halloween Costume As Told By Kayne

We’ve all been there. Six hours into your DIY Halloween costume-making adventure, you have entirely lost hope, sleep, and years of your life, because the snake costume you are trying to make really just looks like a diseased penis. Eventually, you don’t care anymore, and decide, “F*CK IT- I’ll just go naked!”

But you are not alone. Kanye is here for you.

It all begins so purely, with a thought, “What will I be for Halloween this year?”

As you go through the past twenty-something years of your life, you realize you have exhausted most of your options.


You are way too sophisticated to follow the trend of dressing up as Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump–that was so last year.

You could always be…

But that “Slutty Jesus” costume is like $75, and you just spent all your money crafting for a little so…


“Why don’t I just make something myself? I can totally do that.” So you start looking through your closet for pieces to use, and end up turning it into a fashion show: party of 1.

Next thing you know, it’s the Thursday night before Halloweekend. You have nothing but a pile of scraps and a half-assed shark costume laying on your bedroom floor, then your roommate comes in asking if you need help.

“Why don’t you just be a cat, or a witch, or something?”

At this point, you’ve contemplated what Halloween even means, and why you are expected to dress up as anything in the first place. And after a glass (bottle) of wine, you have made an executive decision, and decide to dress up as none other than your fabulous self for the day.

Haters Gonna Hate,

Happy Halloween, y’all. 





Your life is only as good as your mindset.
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