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A Night at the Bars as Told by Michelle Tanner

Bars: Exclusive venues that mass amounts of 21 + year old’s attend in hopes of embodying the fun and sensual experiences we see on T.V.  Sadly, not all nights spent bar hopping are going to be amazing experiences.  Once you’ve been a few times, every occurrence seems to go about the same way.  Michelle Tanner is here to exemplify your average night out at the bars.

You text your group message and ask everyone what they want to do that night.  Unsurprisingly, they all reply: BARS

You roll up to the bar in a hot whip (Uber) feeling and looking good!

You and your squad quickly run to the bar itself and hold your credit card high, trying to catch the attention of the bartender.  You wait for 20 minutes to order one drink.

You quickly down your drink and head to the dance floor with your girls to let loose.

Everything is going great, until a creepy guy 10 years older than you grabs your hips and tries to grind.

You’ve been dancing in close proximity to sweaty strangers for a while and decide to step away and take a break.  Naturally, that’s when your friend has the amazing idea to take a group photo.

You’re back at the bar, trying to get another drink (or two or three) when two guys next to you start arguing (about nothing honestly).  You watch as the bouncer quickly grabs them and escorts them out of the bar.

The night carries on and you haven’t found a cute guy to flirt with yet.  You’re stuck standing next to your hot friend who constantly has men buying her drinks in an effort to charm her.

Things begin to look up when a cute – was he cute?! Who could really tell in that dark lighting? – guy buys you a drink.  He buys you an expensive drink and you spend the next hour talking about things you definitely won’t remember the next morning.

The night is coming to an end and you’ve only got one thing on your mind: FOOD.  You quickly order an Uber and get home to that leftover pasta in your fridge.

The next morning you check your Snapchat story and find a photo of you with the cute boy from the night before.  You now know that the boy was not cute.

You quickly check your bank account to see what damage was done the night before.

Have Mercy! You go back to bed and curse yourself for spending way too much. You promise yourself you won’t go to the bars again for a while, or at least until next weekend.

Now Michelle Tanner may not have been old enough to drink in these gifs, but somehow, haven’t we all been a little Michelle Tanner during a night at the bars?

I have a deep love for mermaids, pitbulls, swearing, and all things involving food.  Shania Twain is my spirit animal and I'm a converted Belieber.
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