I probably am not the best person to give you advice on long-distance relationships. I’m a freshman, I’ve been with my boyfriend for less than a year, and we fight a lot. But somehow, as many of my friend’s long-distance relationships crumbled, mine somehow became stronger than when we were in the same state. Our communication increased as we were forced to adapt to the distance, and we became more patient with each other.
Don’t force communication
Don’t get me wrong — it’s important to stay in touch. But if you try to force it, it can begin to feel like a chore. Scheduling daily or even weekly FaceTimes is unnecessary. If you want to talk and have the time to, great! But there isn’t really a need to set up a schedule. Just like if you were physically together, it’s important to give each other space. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Sacrifice
Everyone will tell you: “relationships take sacrifice.” But what they don’t tell you: “long-distance relationships take even more sacrifice.” Sometimes you’ll have to choose between going to that party with your friends or going out to see your partner. It’s not fun to miss out on some things, and you shouldn’t miss out on everything, but it’s impossible to have it all.
Save, save, save your $$$
I mean this in a couple of ways. Save up to be able to fly or drive out to see your significant other. But, also, save money when you’re together. I’ve noticed that it is really tempting to go all out each time I see my boyfriend. Nice dinners, souvenir gifts, etc. Instead, I have found that it is better to save money for the journey so that if time allows you can see them more often!
Find a shared hobby you can bond over
Read the same book, play the same video game, try a new snack every week, etc. There are countless activities that you can do with your partner from a distance. These create the sense that you’re doing things together as you would in person, with only distance separating you.
Plan your future
There’s a saying my mom would always tell me: If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your future plans. I’d rather throw the whole saying away. I get it, you can’t expect your future to go exactly according to plan. However, talking about your future with your partner together makes being apart a little easier. You can look forward to days where you won’t have to do any of the things I’ve listed above. It’s nice to have hope.
Have trust to fall back on
If you didn’t have a strong foundation of trust to start with, it’s going to get even worse with distance. Make sure you both really trust each other, and if you don’t, you will certainly have to reconsider if long distance is the best thing for you.
Long-distance is hard and that is no joke. Sometimes you may think it’s not worth it and that it would be easier to end things just because of the distance. But if you both want it badly enough and communicate and work to strengthen your relationship even harder than before when you were in person together, it can work wonderfully.