Society will tell you the ingredients to having a happy relationship; 1 cup of communication, 2 cups of honesty and trust, ½ a cup of intimacy, and just a dash of companionship. Of course that is all hypothetical, so the ingredients are interchangeable, but the point is, if we have all of the right ingredients how come we still aren’t happy with the results? For the first time in my young life, I experienced what it was like to be in love, and have what most would call the “perfect relationship”.
He was my best friend. We had amazing communication. We trusted each other deeply, and we never really fought, but I knew something was missing. Was there something wrong with me? I had it all (and then some) and I still wasn’t fully happy. I was content and comfortable. How is it that when we have everything, we can somehow feel that we have nothing? This feeling was when I fully realized that the famous break-up line “It’s not you, it’s me” actually has some truth behind it. I was no longer happy, but it had nothing to do with what he was doing or not doing, it had to do with me. I wasn’t happy because through the four years of growing up, I lost myself. I wasn’t sure what I liked or disliked. I didn’t have much of my own independence, not to mention, I didn’t even really love who I was.
Leaving a relationship for myself was intimidating. No routine, no boyfriend, no comfortable state of mind. But sadly, I knew I had confused the lack of conflict with the real meaning of happiness. So when I left him for me, not for another guy, nor for another relationship, I felt a little step of growth in my newfound life. To all of the people out there who are wondering if you, too, should leave your “comfortable” relationship, if you feel that leaving your partner would help you ultimately grow, then do it. You never know in this crazy world, someday you might even end up back together. But, just know, that you can always find a new happiness too.