My entire life, I’ve been a massive extrovert. I’ve always gotten my energy from being around other people. Any small errand I had to run, I would text a friend to come along. Every weekend had to be booked with plans that had me surrounded by people. I mean, why would I wanna do anything alone when I could do it with someone else?
Over the past year, I’ve done a lot of work within myself and it’s led to a lot of healing. One big thing that I knew I had to face was my crippling fear of being alone. And to be completely honest, I never even knew it was a fear. Rather I thought that I just liked being around people. And I did like being around people, but I also disliked being completely by myself.
Being alone gives you an ample amount of time to think. Sometimes this can be a good and necessary thing, but other times it consumes me. You’re not engaged in conversation, so instead you hone in on your thoughts and that little voice inside your head. If you’re not in the best headspace, all that time to think can really be a scary place to sit. However, that’s exactly what you have to do. You’re forced to sit with your thoughts, and you can either make your mind a nice place to be, or not. I made mine a great place to be.
Once I accepted the fact that I inevitably would need to be alone at times in my life, I started to invest in this alone time. I would plan things to do by myself that I would really enjoy — shopping trips, drives in my car with good music, anything really. I spent a lot of that time in my thoughts, and I really got to know myself in a way that I hadn’t before. Without all the people around and all the stimulation, I learned to love spending time with myself. I still love to be around people, but now I also love to be by myself too.