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Have you ever met someone, talked to them for a while, maybe gone on a date or two, and then out of nowhere they cut off all contact with you with no explanation? If you answered yes, you may have been ghosted. Ghosting is defined by Google as “the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.” It hurts and it sucks because you get no explanation as to why the other party suddenly lost interest. The good thing is that you can bounce back from it!As someone who has been ghosted one too many times, I know how much ghosting can suck. You tend to blame yourself. “Was it how I look?” “Did I do something wrong?” Chances are, it wasn’t anything you did or how you look — it’s about them just not feeling it anymore. Most often, if someone ghosts another person, it is because they just really aren’t feeling it and don’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you. It is immature, but it is a way for someone to get out of something without actually having to have a conversation about it. The key is to understand that you have been ghosted and to learn how to go from there. 

Although I can’t say anything that will make it hurt less, especially if you were really into that person and wanted to have a future with them, I can give you advice on how to move on from it. First, you have to understand that it is not you. Like I said before, they are ghosting you most likely because they just aren’t feeling it. That’s okay — sometimes you just don’t click with another person and pursuing a relationship with them would be a mistake. You can’t sit there and blame yourself. There is nothing wrong with you — you are just not their cup of tea. There is no reason to get angry and send them a million angry texts and calls. This will just be humiliating for you and give them more reason as to assume that ghosting you was okay. 

Do not reach out to them, just don’t. Trust me, I’ve been there and it never works out. They either won’t answer, or they’ll simply block you and make you feel like you’re a crazy person. I know you want closure, but if they wanted to talk to you, they would’ve reached out by now. Imagine if it did work out. You text them after they ghosted you and you convince them to give you another chance. Would you want to be with someone who you had to convince to be with you? No. You’re better off, trust me. The key is to take a minute to be pissed, and then move on. Understand that this person wasn’t meant to happen for you and that there are better things coming your way.

You’ll be okay. Ten years from now you won’t even remember the person who left you on ‘read.’ Don’t let this affect your self esteem! You are beautiful and amazing and no one can take that away from you but you. Being ghosted isn’t the worst thing in the world — in fact, it is a blessing in disguise. It is a way out from a person who wasn’t that into you. 

HI there! My name is Ailee and I am a political science and sociology double major at the University of U! I want to get into law school and I love to write!
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