Hot Take: Dogs Are Not the Superior Pet

Look. Some of y’all are under the impression that dogs are superior to cats somehow. “Oh well dogs are just so fun and cute and cats are just… assholes.” Ummmm… No. Not even close. Cats have been labeled “the assholes” for too damn long and I am not going to stand for it any longer. It's time our furry feline friends got the five-star treatment they deserve instead of taking the backseat to giant energy balls (dogs). Cats are beautiful and loving pets, you just have to take the time to understand them.

Did you know that adult cats don’t meow to each other? Meowing is how cats communicate with kittens, who haven’t developed the ability to listen in on the super secret cat wavelengths like adults. Cats only meow at kittens and people. There is actually a decent amount of evidence that suggests that cats think of their humans as giant, deaf, stupid babies that need to be ‘baby talked’ to and taught how to survive. Have you ever had your cat bring you a dead thing only for you to discover that it is not, in fact, dead? That little bean-toed cutie is trying to teach you how to hunt! Adult cats will often bring their kittens half-dead or injured animals so that they can learn to hunt on easy mode. Your cat is just trying to make sure you can take care of yourself -- say ‘thanks, little buddy.’

Cats also don’t need you in the same way that your dog does. Dogs need undivided attention, at least 1 walk a day, space to bound around, and never-ending approval because dog forbid he doubts his good-boy status. On the other hand, I could leave my cat alone for a week and come back to my happy, chubby baby chillin’ on the back of the couch. Cats are a little more subtle than dogs when they ask for attention. For example, somehow your cat always ends up in the same room as you, possibly putting it's butt right in your face. Maybe that lil bean will walk right across your laptop while your trying to work or almost trip you as you walk to the fridge. The thing is that cats want attention, they just want to feel like it was your idea. I’m just going to casually ‘ignore’ my human while I look adorable. Oh! What’s this? Pets?!? Why I would never ask for such a thing, but since we’re here I suppose I’ll allow myself to be touched. Basically, cats are big fakers who just want head rubs.

Cats are strong, independent pets who don’t need no human, but they do like that we are there. Kitty cats love their human friends, they just don’t show it in the same jump-all-over-you, nip-at-your-fingers kind of way that is a dog’s trademark. My boyfriend’s cat would meet us at the door every day just to say hello. My cat will come out from under the bed at the sound of my voice, even though he is a very scared little bean and doesn’t like people. For years anytime my best friend cried, her little princess would come running and stay with her for the rest of the night. Cats are like the romantic partner that has a hard time with overt displays of affection while dogs are the too-clingy ex that still won’t leave you alone (it's been 3 years, Nicholas, let it go).

Honestly, the biggest problem is how cats are perceived. One of my pet peeves is the fact that it is perfectly acceptable to despise cats, but the second someone starts hating on dogs people lose their damn minds. Even just saying you’re a cat person is a risk in a world where dogs dominate. People just assume you don’t like dogs because you like cats. I’ve found, most of the time, cat people don’t mind dogs, they just like other people’s dogs. Like when women like kids, but don’t want their own. However, dog people seem to just hate cats. “How could you like cats? They are literally the worst. Demon spawns of satan, evil little assholes, out to steal your toes!” Their love of dogs is paralleled by a hatred of cats and they don’t care who knows it. I found out the other day that a friend had kicked my cat while she was outside my house. Why had she kicked my cat you ask? “Well, I didn’t know it was your cat… I just hate cats, man.”

Cats are not the inferior animal! Are they harder to understand than dogs? Yes. Are they more independent? Double yes. Are they picky, neurotic, and emotionally convoluted? For sure, but why ever should that mean they are inferior? Different doesn’t mean inferior. Just like dogs, every cat has its own personality and quirks that might need adjusting to. Sure cats have special needs, but so does every single dog I have ever met. Dog and cat people alike need to come together and realize that these differences are okay and that one pet is not better than the other. We not only need to be accommodating with each other, but with each other’s pets. You would always be accommodating of your friend’s family, right? Pets are family, and family means nobody gets left behind (even if they are a dog person).

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