Did you know 75% of women will never orgasm through penetrative sex? And that 15% never orgasm at all? Well, it’s true, and a lot of people don’t know this. They either feel bad for not having an orgasm or not being able to get their partner there. For some odd reason, most women just have a harder time climaxing than men do. Does that mean we don’t enjoy sex? No. You can still enjoy sex but not climax. The more you know…
Due to these reasons, a lot of women feel pressured to “fake it.” They want their partners to feel like they’re enjoying themselves. Sometimes we can just get so frustrated it’s not happening that we just decide to fake it. We wish we were, but it’s just not happening. A lot of stress can surround orgasming or the desire to. Some people can’t orgasm or have a blockage because the have what is called orgasm anxiety.
In my experience and that of other people I’ve conversed with, we’ll sometimes just fake it because we feel pressured or don’t want to start a fight with our partner. Some male partners seem to get upset or frustrated when you tell them you can’t orgasm or it’s not happening, which can bring down the mood. Some would rather fake it than have to deal with the conversation of “why am I not making you orgasm?” They’ll either get down on themselves and stop trying or they’ll make you feel guilty, like there’s something wrong with you.
A guy I was seeing recently would always talk about how the best thing ever was when he’d orgasm at the same time with a partner during sex. I thought it sounded nice, but knew I was in the 75% that just doesn’t orgasm through penetration. He kept going on about how it’s the best feeling ever and the best sex ever. I felt like I was being compared to these other women who can orgasm through penetration and I couldn’t. Sometimes it can make you ask ‘what’s wrong with me?’ He kept going on about it and after a few times of having sex with him wanting me to orgasm, I just decided to fake it. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea and maybe I needed to be honest, but it made him happy and made him feel like he was doing something right which made him try harder.
I have a friend who fakes moans during sex with her boyfriend because it gets him excited and makes him try harder not only with sex but in their relationship. It makes me wonder that if we fake things in the bedroom that happen to boost their ego, does that somehow make them try harder in the romance department as well? Yes, it’s totally screwed up but it seems to be the case, at least with some men.
It’s kinda screwed up that we feel pressure to faking it. It just feeds the male ego that we are trying so hard to nurture because if we don’t, they’ll get upset and stop trying which sucks for us. Even worse, they might make us feel like there’s something wrong with our bodies. Men, and people in general, need to realize both these statistics of women and that all women’s bodies are different, which makes each woman’s ability to orgasm different.
There are different types of orgasms for a woman; clitoral, g-spot, nipple, vaginal, and mental. Not every woman is built to be able to perform each orgasm, some women can’t even perform any.
My advice to people is to be aware of these circumstances. Know that each partner is not going to be the same as the other. Just because something happened with a past partner doesn’t mean it’s going to or should happen with another. Know your partner, figure out what they like and what they can and can’t perform. Most importantly, be accepting of your partner and don’t pressure them into anything or thinking they have to fake anything.