The Disney Villains of Capitol Hill

To both the casual news watcher and the political junky, it is clear by now that a large number of people within the current administration have an utterly degenerate way of thinking when it comes to any social or political issue. These politicians have a moral compass that points directly into the fiery furnace of hell. In fact, some of their policies and worldviews are so abhorrent, that they make even the worst Disney villains seem tolerable. That’s saying something considering the cartoon antagonists view their reality with cold hearts and narcissism— oh wait, why does that sound familiar?

Listed below are current “villains” of Capitol Hill and their Disney counterparts.

Captain Hook: Donald Trump

Emotionally volatile, a cracked façade of power and confidence, and the inability to complete even the most basic task? Yeah, these two dangerously unpredictable villains are mirror images of one another. Except that Trump’s bleach-blonde balding can never compete with Hook’s voluptuous locks.

Claude Frollo: Mike Pence

Without a doubt, Claude Frollo is the most sadistic and sordid villain in Disney. Like the archdeacon, the Vice President is a religious fanatic whose eternal calling is to disenfranchise any non-white. While we have yet to see this with Pence, Frollo has an extremely concerning fascination with the young Esmerelda, something that seems to be a theme within Pence's party.

Mr. Smee: Paul Ryan 

The Speaker of the House is a spineless replication of Captain Hook’s worthless sidekick who unwisely chooses to follow the fickle attitude of his Commander in Chief without using what little brain he has to think about the consequences. I think that about summarizes it.

Sheriff of Nottingham: Mitch McConnell

No other character summarizes McConnell’s agenda better than the Sheriff of Nottingham. Completely incompetent at his job, the Sheriff and the Senate Majority Leader both share a couple of things in common, mainly a thick southern accent. Oh, and they both love to collect taxes from the poor!!

Flotsam and Jetsam: Orrin Hatch and Jeff Sessions

The most despicable men in Congress can only compare to Ursula’s pet eels. Slippery and evil, the Congressmen crawl their way through life looking for the next victim to whom they can throw derogatory slurs or take away their health care. This could probably be a metaphor for the GOP party.

Queen of Hearts: Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Commanding the same air of authoritarian stubbornness, the Queen of Hearts and the White House Spokesperson have a similar affinity for irrational temper tantrums and an infuriating impatience. The Queen of Hearts is also concerned with keeping her roses white. I feel like the obsession over whiteness must play SOME part in the Trump Administration…hmmm.

Cruella De Ville: Betsy DeVos

While Cruella De Ville is arguably cleverer than the current Secretary of Education, there is no doubt that they share a common sense of greed and selfishness. Maybe it’s just me, but both women have the same lofty, privileged look about them.

Drizella: Kellyanne Conway

The vilest of Cinderella’s stepsisters, Drizella is irrational, rude, and all-around ugly. For anyone who has watched the former White House Spokesperson speak, those qualities pretty much sum her up. Also, like Drizella, Kellyanne Conway disappears for months on end, only to pop up with some moronic catchphrase to blast on Fox News.

 

Scar: Steve Bannon

Although technically no longer in the White House, Steve Bannon is a less intelligent, dumpster looking version of the lion outcast. Bannon was kicked out of his pride and is now roaming the swamps of America looking for the right army to put him back in power. Also, they are both Nazis.

So while our government looks like a bad reunion special of the infamous Disney villains, the only thing scarier than Captain Hook, is our very own president.

Photo Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

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