Let’s face it, if you are living on-campus, your dorm mate is most likely going to be your first college friend. And for this, besides the fact that you live together, you’ll want to cling to each other like two peas in a pod. Of course, the ideal situation is to have a roommate who you get along with completely. Someone to stay up all night and watch reruns of American Horror Story with, who is as equally obsessed with Rihanna as you are, and who loves to share her collection of Public Desire booties. But unfortunately, we can’t all be that lucky. Although on the bright side, it’s completely normal to not be BFF’s with your first college roommate. In fact, it’s very common for people to not be super close with their dorm mates. As long as you both have a mutual respect and drawn boundaries, being solely acquainted with your roommate is completely okay and here’s why:
1. The chances of meeting your long-lost best friend through a roommate search is very slim.
It’s not realistic to expect to find a BFF through a generic roommate search. Many people put their best foot forward when completing roommate surveys and short, personal bios, you aren’t really seeing people’s true, raw personality. Therefore, finding someone you instantly click with isn’t that likely. You shouldn’t go into college, or any situation where you’ll have a roommate, with the expectation that you’re finding your soul sister. Just think of it as finding someone you have a mutual respect for who is chill, clean, and won’t eat your food.
2. Living together doesn’t mean you have to be close with each other.
Many of times, people blur the lines between best friends and roommates. Just because you live with someone, doesn’t mean y’all are besties. Although, it can be hard to distinguish these boundaries as living together is intimate. But just know that it is okay to just be acquaintances! And especially in these situations, don’t force the friendship. Obligated friendships are the worst and just not a situation you’d want to be in.
3. Don’t be tied down to the people you live with.
Not being tied down to your roommate forces you to make other friends outside of the dorms. This allows you to go out and meet new people. It’s easy to stick to what’s comfortable and stay cooped up in your dorm, however venturing outside will open the doors to new opportunities and possible friendships. It’s also very refreshing to have friends outside of where you live. Living in the dorms and seeing the same faces can become boring and redundant, it’s always nice to have an outlet of outside friends. Not to mention an excuse to go somewhere outside of your residential building!
It may be a bummer at first, not being BFF’s with your roommate can actually be a good thing. The expectation of being uber-close with your roommate is not realistic; therefore you shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s completely normal and actually has some perks to it. And regardless of all that, if you do end up being best friends with your roommate, embrace the bond! Because if I haven’t highlighted it enough in this article, finding a BFF roommate is as unlikely as finding a rare Pokemon. All in all, make the best out of your situation whether you love, hate, or feel indifferent towards your roommate.