There’s nothing like moving into college and having new roomies to spend the next year with. What’s even better though is being in your junior year and living with three of your besties rather than a random girl. No one will ever understand what truly goes on behind closed doors, but here are some conversations that will happen when you get to this point.
(Taken word for word from your girl’s crazy suite, of course)
“I’m going to be the best hoe out there”
“Do I have a weird vagina?”
“I just crapped; you may want to give it a minute”
“I want to cuddle with (insert Justin Bieber, Tim Riggins, Mark Wahlberg)
“I’ll straighten the back of your head if you promise to put a towel on”
“I’m sorry if I woke you up puking this morning”
“Do I look sexy enough for tonight?”
“Get out of bed and go to the gym. Think about all the calories you’re going to consume tonight.”
“I’m planning not to sleep here tonight. I have my toothbrush packed.”
“You sound like Darth Vader when you sleep”
“Can I borrow your sticky boobs?”
“Speaking of which, we have to get some more tequila”
“Let’s all go get boyfriends, and if that doesn’t work, we’re getting vibrators”
“Get ready to pound some wine tonight. I’m in such a bad mood.”
“There’s a beautiful, sexy man that lives in our building wearing business clothes.”
“I just stole a magnum from our bulletin board!”
“All four beds in one room and make the empty room a ball pit?” “All four beds in one room and make the empty room a sex cave complete with whips and a sex swing??”
“Sugar daddy or die”
So what I’ve learned from this experience is that my friends and I are absolutely disgusting and crazy, and I know you and your roommates are too. Here’s to another semester and a half with these girls. Cheers!