The 9 Stages of a Netflix Binge

Binge-watching shows on Netflix is a lot like going into a puppy store. It’s the greatest idea you’ve ever had. You’re having fun, gaining a slight obsession, and tweeting maybe just one too many times about it. But, you eventually have to leave, and it’s like a tiny piece of your soul has been crushed and you could easily shed a tear or two for the next three days thinking about it. Soon you come to terms with it because you know there are always more puppies to play with another day. That, my friends, is the vicious cycle of a day spent at the puppy store. Now, replace a cute little Golden Retriever puppy with Orange is the New Black and you have, the Netflix binge.

With Thanksgiving and Winter Break in the weeks upon us, the ever so popular Netflix binge will be at an all time high. Finish an entire series in a week? Challenge accepted! But, beware of the cycle. You must prepare yourself for the emotional roller coaster that you will endure. Take notes.

Stage 1: Okay Netflix, what are my recommendations?

You text all of your friends, scroll through your twitter feed, and read all of the recommendations that Netflix generates for you so you can have all the information you need to decide which show you should start next.

Stage 2: Just pick one already

After much deliberation, you finally decide on your new show.

Stage 3: So where can I order my “I <3 Tim Riggins” t-shirt?

It’s only taken you one season and you already know who your favorite character is. But just to make sure, you text everyone you’ve ever known who has watched the show before to make sure they don’t die, turn into the bad guy, or do basically anything else besides being perfect. 

Stage 4: 3am. Must. Keep. Watching.

You’ve done it. You’ve trained your body to forego sleep and thrive off of computer screen brightness rather than Vitamin D from actual sunlight.

Stage 5: Why have I never watched this show before?

You start to second guess every choice you have ever made in your life if it has taken you this long to watch this series.

Stage 6: I can’t live with you, but I can’t live without you

It’s the final season and you get to obsess over your favorite show-mance at last. But wait, there goes your jaw dropping to the floor after the plot twists yet again in the opposite direction of where you thought it was going. Why can’t they just give the people what they want?!

Stage 7: BRB, crying

With your glass of wine, Nutella, and tissues in hand, you have all the essentials for watching the series finale.

Stage 8: Get yourself together, girl

A piece of you has honestly just died now that the series is over. Now what are you supposed to do with your life?

Stage 9: I don’t know if I can go through that again

Time to dry up those tears and put your thinking cap back on. It’s time to start the cycle all over again. Good luck!


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