We all have a singer or actor that we admire and love. Sometimes this love makes us feel like we know them personally, thus making us feel entitled to know and comment on details about their personal life. This includes their sexuality, relationship status, or their body. When fans do not get this information confirmed by the artist themselves, they may start making assumptions about details they are missing about the artist’s life to fill in the gaps. Fans run the risk of putting their loved artist on an untouchable pedestal as they have created an idea around the artist’s persona. All this stems from a parasocial relationship that artists have with their fans.
According to the National Register of Health Service Psychologists, “parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other’s existence.”
The parasocial aspect of the relationship between artists and fans is that the fans may spend all their savings on the artist’s merchandise, music, and concerts, and may spend all their time listening to the artist’s music. Even with all the dedication from the fans, the artist will more than likely never meet them or know they exist. Additionally, all these efforts made by fans benefit the artist’s career and put them into a wealthy and powerful position in the world, and all an artist can give back is their thanks.
When we as fans listen to personal details that the artist may put in their songs or see life updates shared on social media, we start to feel a connection to the persona that the artist is portraying. This may confuse fans to think they know the artist personally.
One topic that is assumed the most about an artist’s life on social media is their sexuality. This is prevalent with Shawn Mendes, Harry Styles, and Taylor Swift fans. These artists see the weird fascination that fans have with their sexuality, and when asked about the rumors in interviews, are forced to address it.
In an interview with People magazine, Mendes recalled how he feels when fans assume things about his sexuality. “’For me it’s hurtful’, he said. ‘I get mad when people assume things about me because I imagine people who don’t have the support system I have and how that must affect them.’”
In the same People article, they include a discussion that Mendes had in November 2018 with Rolling Stone about his sexuality, stating “…he had previously addressed the rumors and said that he felt like he needed to be seen out with girls ‘to prove to people that I’m not gay.’”
Taylor Swift fans who believe that she is gay have gone as far as to create their own fanbase name: Gaylors. They put together theories, videos, and photos to prove that Swift is the different sexuality that she has proclaimed herself to be. Due to the content they find from public moments in Swift’s life, they believe that they personally know what her sexuality is, and think it is okay to make romantic, couple edits of her and her past friends that have also not commented on their sexuality.
Artists express a lot of their personal life through their work, this is how they communicate and form a bond with their fans. Some artists take this one step further and directly speak to their fans through their songs.
A song that perfectly describes a singer’s point of view of their relationship with their fans is boygenius’ song “Bite the Hand,” which one of the songwriters, Lucy Dacus confirmed was about the complicated relationship she has with her fans:
I can’t hear you, you’re too far away
I can’t see you, the light is in my face
I can’t touch you, I wouldn’t if I could
(boygenius, 2018, verse 1)
The next verse and chorus include “I can’t love you how you want me to” and “I’ll bite the hand that feeds me” (boygenius, 2018, verse 1). This showcases how the artist acknowledges how her fans give her the career she has through their love and support, but she still cannot love them the way they love her. She emphasizes this by using the symbolism of a dog biting the hand of its owner that feeds it, to her struggling to show her appreciation to her fans that give her a career.
Artists may show their appreciation for their fans’ support, but they also address that there is a disconnection in the relationship because the artist will never be able to admire or love the fan the same way they do them.
Another aspect of this parasocial relationship is that a fan may adore the artist so much that they put the artist on a pedestal and say they can do no wrong, which can become problematic. Personally, I consider myself a huge fan of Taylor Swift, and through interviews and the persona she puts out, I consider her to be a good person. Even though I may love her music and her persona, I cannot allow myself to become blind to situations where she may be in the wrong just because I am a fan of hers.
Love for an artist and their music can become blind adoration and that is where the parasocial relationship between an artist and their fans becomes disastrous. When fans fall in love with a persona and an idea of who the artist may be behind closed doors, all that leads to disappointment, and I believe this is where cancel culture stems from. When an artist turns out not to be as perfect and not who the fans thought they were, they become canceled on the internet by those very fans.
I think there is an imbalance of power within the parasocial relationship between artists and fans. Specifically, I think the artist is at the mercy of their fans because they have the power to create an artist’s career, but fans can also take it away. This just furthers the complication of the parasocial relationship.