Dear Florida,
Hey girl it’s me, your favorite Pasco resident, Pinellas commuter, and all around state lover. So I was just checking in to see how you were feeling, because lately your temperature has been pretty high. I’m not sure if you are stressed about elections, hanging out at the beach, or just upset over the whole hurricane Michael thing, but honestly you should be glad he is gone. He was terrible to you and completely toxic. Do not forget he planned for weeks that he was going to hurt you, so don’t act surprised. Guys hate when girls get dramatic. I mean getting all hot and heated over not having him for spooky season is a bit much. I guess you could say he went as a ghost this year- too soon?
But, speaking of that, Halloween is approaching which means costumes and candy. It is hard to go house-to-house dressed in full attire when you keep it 90 degrees. No wonder girls go out in sexy nurse costumes; they are trying not to die of heatstroke and have to see a real nurse that night! I am not trying to be Bigfoot this year but I just want jeans and boots to be acceptable attire for the months to come. I just think that it is really unfair that we are the only state not participating in winter this year which limits our season experiences. I understand that you want to be Miss Independent but do that later. Some of us have a boo thang this season and are sweating off our makeup in a cable knit sweater in some sunny field just so we can pick pumpkins and hashtag our Instagram worthy pictures. It is girls like me that are taking one for the team so you can overreact about a boy who has not come back for you.
I mean this from the bottom of my heart and my closet filled with sweaters and cardigans, it is time to chill out. Have a tall glass of whatever the other 49 states are having, preferably one that is close to Canada and relax. Hurricanes, boys, and holidays come and go but your temperature this winter will be with me forever. How you choose to proceed will show what kind of state you are, full of love for people and a badass bitch. Give him the cold shoulder and I promise no one will complain as we sit in our boots, layered in blankets, with hot cocoa on our lap loving the new you even more.
Love,
A Southern Gal With a Northern Style
HCXOXO,
Hannah