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Five sure-fire ways to boost your procrastination skills

5-Second Films – www.5secondfilms.com
 
Love to watch funny videos? Hate it when the drab scenes drag on, need time to buffer and slide past
your 9 minutes of patience? Imagine a page with hundreds of videos to choose from, with run times that
only last as long as a great one-liner. Now, enter this website into your browser and imagine no further.
 
A good way to spend your first 15 seconds:
1. Late for Work
2. Rock Band: Groupie Edition
3. What Girls Do in There
 
Dear blank, please blank. –www.dearblankpleaseblank.com
 
Dear blank, please blank is like a filing cabinet of heart-felt letters to any person, place or thing.
The “letters” are about the length of a Tweet or Facebook status –quite soothing to a mind thriving
in the social networking universe we live in today. Want to help decide what’s funny? Just click on
the Moderate section to pick which entries should show up on the website or get tossed in the virtual
dumpster. If you think they all suck, submit a few of your own.
 
“Dear Bread,
I’m hot, turned on and want you inside me.
Sincerely, Toaster.”
 
“Dear XM Radio,
Why so Sirius?
Sincerely, Anonymous”
 
When Parents Text –www.whenparentstext.com
 
Ok, maybe that fast-paced, technological universe isn’t for everyone. When a new-fangled digital
device falls into the hands of your dad or grandma, the results can leave you gasping for air or just plain
confused.
 
“ME: Ok thanks dad! <3
DAD: What is that? a butt with a cone?”
 
“MOM: Can you please call me when you need to be picked up! Don’t do anything stupid! :-)8
ME: What is that emoticon?
MOM: bowtie man! He doesn’t do anything stupid.”
 
R.I.P. beepers.
 
Damn You Auto Correct! –www.damnyouautocorrect.com
 
Nicole Miller
 
You swore if it happened one more time, your expensive piece of technological crap would be going
through your bedroom wall. It’s just trying to help, but even your phone has a brain fart every now and
then. But alas, those incorrect autocorrects make you laugh too much to worry about your perplexed
friend at the other end and phone with a mind of its own.
 
“Mommy loves you too my sweaty litter baby fire… “MY SWEET LITTLE BABY GIRL!! Sorry honey!”
 
“Hahaha that movie is so funny it makes me piss my plants.”
 
“I’m at my holiday party. Wooooo. Feces navidad!!!!!”
 
Wait, aren’t phones supposed to be smart?
 
This is Why You’re Fat –www.thisiswhyyourefat.com
 
People make food. People send photos. People vomit. And die.
 
Well, maybe not. But just prepare yourself for a behind-the-scenes look at fatties’ fattest fantasies: A
cake composed of nothing but Combos Snacks and Cheez Whiz, a deep-fried Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
wrapped in bacon, a loaded garlic bread pizza with mushrooms, popcorn shrimp, corn dogs and bacon.
Or how about a hamburger made out of two square pizzas, two McDonald’s Quarter Pounders, fries and
condiments?
 
Even the dessert concoctions are exotic. Pop-Tarts rolled in Fruit Roll-Ups and sliced like sushi?
 
I’ll take seconds.
 
Welcome to This is Why You’re Fat: “Where dreams become heart attacks.”
 
If you still have time before that Blackboard deadline:
 
 
Sources:
 
Nicole Miller
 
Damn You Autocorrect. The Hangover. Submitted by: Zoe, 10 Dec 2010. http://
damnyouautocorrect.com/2836/the-hangover/
 
Damn You Autocorrect. Holiday Party. Submitted by: Drew, 11 Dec 2010.
damnyouautocorrect.com/2935/holiday-party/
 
Damn You Autocorrect. Nickname from mom. Submitted by: Mistie, 18 Jan 2011.
damnyouautocorrect.com/4583/nickname-from-mom/
 
 
 
When Parents Text: bowtie man: Submitted: 13 Dec 2010.
2307117533/8
 
When Parents Text: Butt Cone. Submitted: 8 Dec 2010. http://whenparentstext.com/post/2307117533/
8
 
This is Why You’re Fat. Combo Cake Castle. Submitted by: Ezra, 26 Nov 2010.
 
This is Why You’re Fat. Deep-fried Reese’s Cup wrapped in bacon. Submitted by: Justin Valcarcel, 7 Oct
 
This is Why You’re Fat. Hamburzilla. Submitted by: Cacho LaGarza, 7 Sept 2010. http://
 
This is Why You’re Fat. Pop Tart Sushi. Submitted by: Justin, 20 Nov 2010.
 
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http://5-Second Films – www.5secondfilms.com
5-Second Films – www.5secondfilms.com
Love to watch funny videos? Hate it when the drab scenes drag on, need time to buffer and slide past
your 9 minutes of patience? Imagine a page with hundreds of videos to choose from, with run times that
only last as long as a great one-liner. Now, enter this website into your browser and imagine no further.
 
A good way to spend your first 15 seconds:
1. Late for Work
2. Rock Band: Groupie Edition
3. What Girls Do in There
 
Dear blank, please blank. –www.dearblankpleaseblank.com
 
Dear blank, please blank is like a filing cabinet of heart-felt letters to any person, place or thing.
The “letters” are about the length of a Tweet or Facebook status –quite soothing to a mind thriving
in the social networking universe we live in today. Want to help decide what’s funny? Just click on
the Moderate section to pick which entries should show up on the website or get tossed in the virtual
dumpster. If you think they all suck, submit a few of your own.
 
“Dear Bread,
I’m hot, turned on and want you inside me.
Sincerely, Toaster.”
 
“Dear XM Radio,
Why so Sirius?
Sincerely, Anonymous”
 
When Parents Text –www.whenparentstext.com
 
Ok, maybe that fast-paced, technological universe isn’t for everyone. When a new-fangled digital
device falls into the hands of your dad or grandma, the results can leave you gasping for air or just plain
confused.
 
“ME: Ok thanks dad! <3
DAD: What is that? a butt with a cone?”
 
“MOM: Can you please call me when you need to be picked up! Don’t do anything stupid! :-)8
ME: What is that emoticon?
MOM: bowtie man! He doesn’t do anything stupid.”
 
R.I.P. beepers.
 
Damn You Auto Correct! –www.damnyouautocorrect.com
 
You swore if it happened one more time, your expensive piece of technological crap would be going
through your bedroom wall. It’s just trying to help, but even your phone has a brain fart every now and
then. But alas, those incorrect autocorrects make you laugh too much to worry about your perplexed
friend at the other end and phone with a mind of its own.
 
“Mommy loves you too my sweaty litter baby fire… “MY SWEET LITTLE BABY GIRL!! Sorry honey!”
 
“Hahaha that movie is so funny it makes me piss my plants.”
 
“I’m at my holiday party. Wooooo. Feces navidad!!!!!”
 
Wait, aren’t phones supposed to be smart?
 
This is Why You’re Fat –www.thisiswhyyourefat.com
 
People make food. People send photos. People vomit. And die.
 
Well, maybe not. But just prepare yourself for a behind-the-scenes look at fatties’ fattest fantasies: A
cake composed of nothing but Combos Snacks and Cheez Whiz, a deep-fried Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
wrapped in bacon, a loaded garlic bread pizza with mushrooms, popcorn shrimp, corn dogs and bacon.
Or how about a hamburger made out of two square pizzas, two McDonald’s Quarter Pounders, fries and
condiments?
 
Even the dessert concoctions are exotic. Pop-Tarts rolled in Fruit Roll-Ups and sliced like sushi?
 
I’ll take seconds.
 
Welcome to This is Why You’re Fat: “Where dreams become heart attacks.”
 
If you still have time before that Blackboard deadline:
 
 
Sources:
 
Damn You Autocorrect. The Hangover. Submitted by: Zoe, 10 Dec 2010. http://
damnyouautocorrect.com/2836/the-hangover/
 
Damn You Autocorrect. Holiday Party. Submitted by: Drew, 11 Dec 2010.
damnyouautocorrect.com/2935/holiday-party/
 
Damn You Autocorrect. Nickname from mom. Submitted by: Mistie, 18 Jan 2011.
damnyouautocorrect.com/4583/nickname-from-mom/
 
 
 
When Parents Text: bowtie man: Submitted: 13 Dec 2010.
2307117533/8
 
When Parents Text: Butt Cone. Submitted: 8 Dec 2010. http://whenparentstext.com/post/2307117533/
8
 
This is Why You’re Fat. Combo Cake Castle. Submitted by: Ezra, 26 Nov 2010.
 
This is Why You’re Fat. Deep-fried Reese’s Cup wrapped in bacon. Submitted by: Justin Valcarcel, 7 Oct
 
This is Why You’re Fat. Hamburzilla. Submitted by: Cacho LaGarza, 7 Sept 2010. http://
 
This is Why You’re Fat. Pop Tart Sushi. Submitted by: Justin, 20 Nov 2010.
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