The Bachelor franchise has remained one of the most iconic titans of reality TV, prompting many other networks to try out the dating show formula. After a seven-year decline it is experiencing a major comeback with this new season. Gaining more viewers over the first two weeks for the first time since its 2017 run. With all these new eyes the show must deliver on romance but most importantly drama… cause we all know that’s what really makes these shows addicting.
This season on The Bachelor we are following the journey of 28-year-old Joey Graziadei initially introduced to Bachelor Nation on Charity Lawson’s season where he was the runner up. He instantly charmed America with dashing looks and extreme sincerity. The perfect candidate for a love story to capture our hearts. In line with this season’s new heights there was a record 32 women on night one vying for his attention. Naturally, some of the women easily placed themselves as frontrunners in terms of romance. For example, Daisy Kent, the 25-year-old who shared a heartbreaking story about being diagnosed with Meniere’s Disease and losing her hearing. Others, however, stood out and not for romantic sparks flying on screen with Joey. Which is where the drama comes in, with the major players in this story are Sydney Gordon and Maria Georgas.
It all started when the oldest contestant in the house, Madina Alam (31), expressed some insecurities about her age and whether Joey would ever see her as a viable choice due to her being older than him. Of course, the house is small, and things travel fast. When Maria heard about her insecurities, she saw that there was no need for her to feel insecure. The only clips shown in the episode were Maria singing Madina’s praises for the ability to be a mature 31-year-old woman telling her co-star to “own it. Joey probably loves it”. Unfortunately, Sydney, Madina’s friend on the show, had caught wind that Maria was talking about Madina and immediately jumped to her defense. Trying to provide clarity during the Women Tell All, an episode meant to rehash all the drama from the season, Sydney explains that” [her] truest intention was just to stick up for a friend.” To viewers, including myself, it seemed as though the only context Sydney needed was that Madina had previously expressed her insecurities, Maria had Madina’s name in her mouth, and this is a dramatic environment. That last ingredient was the catalyst for the almost hilarious miscommunication about to occur.
Sydney had the misguided notion that Maria was badmouthing Madina, which was not the case – but Sydney didn’t know that yet. It was soon shown that Maria tried to shut down the exploding drama, and patch things up with Madina. Sydney had done her job as a friend and stood up for what she thought was right, the girls had hashed it out, so you would think things were over. But of course, we are talking about The Bachelor so things can never truly be over. The show quickly highlighted the arguments between Sydney and Maria. Framing Maria as the hero, having her character consistently questioned. While Sydney, who has not had any outstanding moments with Joey, just appears to be attacking her without any ground to stand on. From a viewer’s standpoint it feels like she’s clinging onto anything to make herself relevant. But any true fan knows that whenever a contestant is consistently aligned with drama, they will never be able to make it far.
Ok I love a good debrief as much as the next person, but this is not meant to be an in-depth recap. However, if you are ever in need of in-depth, high-quality recap of a Bachelor episode, I highly recommend YouTube channel Bachelor Fantake! To me it’s more important that we talk about the response to the drama and how, as a fandom, Bachelor Nation can do better. I totally understand taking sides in the drama but so many of us are forgetting that the clips we see are edited. We are only seeing about 24 hours of a two-month period, which actually has 1,460 hours! With absolute certainty I can say that we, as the audience, never get the full story when an episode airs, as there is no way to fit in with all the nuances that can explain the reaction that we see. Too often we forget that what has been put on our screen is meticulously curated to generate the biggest reaction out of us. Maria, who people have bent over backwards to defend against Sydney, has completely denounced the barrage of hate her co-star has been receiving. The two even hugging it out during the Women Tell All, signaling that any animosity curated between them during the show is gone.
Often some of the most “telling” quotes from the show come from the confessional sessions. It is posed as if the contestant is just getting all the raw emotion when there is some producer manipulation happening behind the camera. One of the tactics used is a pointed question.This is where a producer will ask a skewed question meant to trap the contestant into an answer which, in turn, will push the drama further. Of course, the questions are edited out but that is the point! It makes you believe that this is what these people are genuinely like, we completely omit the fact that we have no clue who they are, making it even more unfair when we harass them with an unimaginable amount of hate.
A really disheartening occurrence that has been repeating due to the incessant barrage of animosity the contestants face, is that during the Women Tell All, there has consistently been the need to include an anti-bullying PSA. When we watch these reality shows we view these real people as caricatures for our entertainment, and that simply has got to stop. I am not saying that we are not allowed or dislike anyone who ever ends up on the show (trust me I cheered when Sydney got sent home). What I am saying is that we need to extend a little bit of grace because it’s a known fact that what we see is such a minuscule part of the truth. Filming is such a stressful environment to be in and it’s so easy to feel disconnected from the world and yourself. There is absolutely no way we would all sanely be able to handle being in a house with multiple women, and your main goal is to get this absolute stranger to fall in love with you. Too often when the women express how unnerving it is to have to vie for the lead’s attention, they are immediately met with criticism from viewers saying that this is what they signed up for. For some it may be easier to recognize that this environment is simply too stressful to endure. But it’s not fair to use that as ammunition to shame and attack women. We as a community should be working to uplift these participants. It’s already so hard to be vulnerable and give yourself a chance to fall in love. It becomes a million times harder when now anyone can have access to you. Just please remember that these are real people who have emotions and the most unfair thing to do is treat them like characters in a drama series. The show is so emotionally charged and it’s natural that it can spur negative thoughts. Releasing this negativity is important because it’s not healthy to keep it all in, but sending a hateful message is not the right way to go about that. I find that venting to friends can help the emotion seep out. Interacting on social media without senselessly villainizing these women is also possible, just please remember to always be mindful about the energy we spread into the world.