City Girl Survival Guide Vol 5: Ghosting
As the great poet, or modern day city girl, once asked, “To Ghost or not to Ghost. That is the question” Yes mon cheries it’s time to talk about something serious-Ghosting. In the world of technology and swiping right for love, ghosting is an epidemic sweeping the nation at an alarming rate. Even I have been guilty of such a juvenile, archaic act. But let’s be honest it’s not a very flattering look and after feeling refreshed from venus’s past retrograde I think it’s time we have a little chat. So to get on with it here is your vol 5 city girl survival guide to Ghosting!
Getting Ghosted
Moment of truth: We’ve all been ghosted. And it bloooowwss. Nothing ruins a perfectly good brunch more than remembering the boy you were texting all week totally ignored your text to hangout last night. You’re a fun girl and you guys had a le lit time the last time you hung out, is it too unreasonable of a request to get a proper “no thanks” text! You start to wonder where it all went wrong or what you should’ve done differently but that’s your first mistake. What you really need to be doing is as easy as “thou who shall not be named” didn’t text you back, move forward with your life. Evaluating what you could’ve done differently isn’t going to bring you any answers as to why your latest tinder match went all casper on you. What it is doing is wasting time you could be investing in someone else. And trust me, you are not simple minded enough to keep wasting energy and emotional exhaustion on boy who uses ghosting as means for sending a message. Ghosting is a little like getting rejected, except there’s no closure. It’s open ended rejection We LIVE for closure so it sucks even more! Since you have no solid idea as to why you’ve been left on read it seriously screws with your mind. But some things my loves, we never get the answers to and we just have to live with it. It’s a definite dig to the ego, let me tell you! But, remember what I said about ego digs, they’re humbling. Lick your wounds and start back up again. Letting ghosting ruin your dating life is just poor decision making. City girls are way beyond trivial setbacks.
Ghosting Someone
Ghosting someone is easy. There I said it. Heartless, but easy. It’s way too much of an emotional commitment to tell someone you’re not interested. We are very clear in our wants in life but this section of our lives is a little more difficult. Letting people down is never fun and we’d all just rather wash our hands of the messy business. But weren’t we just talking about how totally excruciating it is to get ghosted and here we are making a case for why it’s necessary? *cringes at thought of being right* Telling someone you don’t like them is NOT an ideal situation but you and I both know you’re a little more creative in getting out of things you don’t want to do than ghosting. Ghosting is tacky and sends way harsh vibes out into the universe. We demand a certain level of respect in the dating world so why don’t we help even the playing field? Perhaps, take up the art of the tasteful curve (another article for another time mon cheries). It’s much more appropriate practice for a well established being as yourself. The sad thing is, girls ghost way more than guys. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves ghosting is the norm and when it happens to us were literally shook. To think we’re basically the creator of this awful tradition! So why not eradicate this irrational epidemic? As I like to say “ ghost unto others as you would have them ghost you”. Which brings me to my next topic, when is it appropriate to ghost?
When to Ghost
Okay so now that we’ve seen both sides it’s also apparent that not all romantic interactions warrant an explanation for not being into someone. If you’ve simply matched on tinder or bumble, only exchanging a few words then it’s more than acceptable to just dip whenever you feel it’s necessary. The interaction is so slight and informal it would almost be bizarre if you decided to give a heartfelt monologue as to why you no longer want to talk to the person. It’s not like it’s Jack falling off a tiny splinter of wood, you just simply don’t want to be matched with them anymore. A good rule of thumb as to when it’s not chill to ghost someone is if you’ve had personal interactions with this other human. So if you go for a date and there are no blatantly obvious signs on why you would never talk to this person again, ghosting them would be pretty rude. Really it’s up to your discretion when you think it’s appropriate to ghost. Although, as we are City Girls were constantly looking for ways to be better humans. So, the next time you think about ghosting someone say to yourself, “how not lit would it be if someone ghosted ME at this point in our time of knowing each other?” Just some food for thought,but you could just carry on being Cruella Devil. Just know,dat shiz comes back to you!
Remember don’t let Ghosting get you down. It’s such a small percentage of the dating world that it would be obscene to let it ruin your experience! Since you know how much it blows just give it an extra thought if you’re gonna do it to someone else. Until next time mes amies!