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City Girl Survival Guide Vol 3: Understanding He’s Just Not That Into You

Okay, this is going to be an uncomfortable article.  As city girls we are known for our loveable personalities and charming ways.  We find it hard to believe that anyone would be immune to us, but we know there are a few who don’t really mesh with who we are. More specifically, boys.  As difficult as this topic can be it’s, time we face the fact that Prince Charming might not always be into us. Which completely blows, I know.  We have a really hard time adapting to when a guy isn’t into us. So in return we tend to overcompensate our pursuit.  We love a good challenge but we hate losing. Let's perhaps think about it this way: technically you can’t loose anything you never had, right?  Rejection sucks, period. There's no way to sugar coat that, but don’t worry mon cheries we all go through it.  So without further ado here is the City Girl Survival Guide Vol. 3: Understanding He’s Just Not That Into You


The first part to understanding is believing.  When it comes to guys, they are pretty straightforward in their actions. Remember this cardinal rule, “If a guy wants to see you, he will see you”. With that being, said let's go through some general red flags that scream “he’s just not that into you”.  

  1. You always, and I mean ALWAYS text him first. Whether it's to hang out, say hi, or ask about the hw; you’ve initiated most, if not all, of these interactions.

  2. He bails, a lot. Whether you’ve made the plans or he has, he always has an entire Britannica Encyclopedia full of excuses as to why he can’t hang out. Let me be the first one to tell you: they are all B.S.

  3. You went out once, but he’s made no suggestions of a second date. If a guy is into you then he will obviously make strides to see you again.

  4. He’s never asked you out.  Contrary to belief, asking a girl out on a date isn’t old school, it's how things should be done.  Also let’s go ahead and distinguish a date from “chillin” at his house.  If his idea of a date is anything at his apartment/room, move back 5 spaces, do NOT pass GO and do not collect $200. This is a trap girl, call that uber and run.

  5. He only asks you to “chill” at strange hours of the day and night. (If he asks you to “chill” at normal hours, consider going out with guy who has a vocabulary level higher than a fourth grader’s.)

  6. He’s never really tried to have a conversation with you.  Boys are inquisitive when they like something.  If he doesn’t reciprocate questions it means he’s not interested in hearing the answers. (yikes that one even burned me a little)

With these in mind you will clearly start seeing your guy's motives. These moves are not only red flags but they are tie breakers. If you're putting in this much effort at the start of a potential relationship can you seriously see yourself putting in this much effort and more if you actually start dating this kid?  It’s not an easy pill to swallow, trust me! I don't like telling people a guy isn't into them! Friends don't lie to friends though, and we're friends right? Besides - finally seeing that a guy isn’t into you will save you heart break down the road. Boys are like investments. You wouldn’t invest your money in a company you knew was going to fail, would you? Why do the same for a boy?  Don’t make poor investments.

The next step to understanding that he’s just not that into you, is realizing that it’s okay for a boy not to like you.  As simple as that. If every boy we ever met liked us, life would be boring and I’d be out of a job for writing about what to do when boys don’t like us. It’s not the end of the world when a boy doesn’t like you.  It doesn’t mean that no boy will ever like you again. Don’t get me wrong, getting rejected hurts. It’s a dig to the ego and really feels like a gut punch. But we’re city girls, we pride ourselves on resiliency. Take the hit and keep moving forward.  This isn’t Twilight and we’re not going to sit in front of a window, watching the seasons go by, boohooing about a boy.  No one has time for that. In fact, understanding when a boy isn’t that into you is a great skill to have. City Girl’s are well rounded phenoms of society, but you already knew that.

The last part to understanding when a boy isn’t into you is stopping the pursuit.  As City Girl’s we are not only competitive, we are optimistic. This however, is not the situation to be a "glass half-full" type of person on. Remember how we talked about how we shouldn’t make something out of nothing? Don’t keep pursuing this boy once you’ve figured out he’s not into you. Dont’ convince yourself that certain mannerisms of his means he might be into you and you should keep trying. Rather, experience the art of letting go. Putting your energy into someone who's not into you means you’re taking it away from someone that is. Stop texting him first or initiating every hangout scenario. It won’t be easy at first, but you’ll know that it’ll be worth it in the long run. If you’re going to invest in anything, invest in yourself. You deserve better than throwing yourself at a boy who’s not trying to give you the time of day. Take pride in knowing how beautiful and amazing you are and keep moving forward.

So you see, understanding that he’s just not that into you is something we all have to go through. Not my favorite life experience but learning how to handle it and be proactive about it is an ultimate life saver.  

Until next time City Girls, kisses x 2.

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