Something I have realized about myself, and have tried to work on, is my problem with escapism. It is so incredibly easy for me to just want to turn life off, to shut down, or to just focus on anything else. I think a time when it really became a problem was when my dad went to the hospital. I had recently gotten the Nintendo switch, and I just could not put it down. My dad was in the hospital for his second heart attack, and I just did not know how to deal with it or what to do. It was so incredibly hard for me to think about what was right in front of me, so I put a game in front of me instead. Clearly, not the best coping method.
Sometimes; however, there was not even some massive issue I was struggling to cope with. Instead, it was smaller things, such as not having a lot of connections and friendships to occupy myself. I felt this a lot during theSummer after my junior year in high school. I did not have many friends who I would see in person, so I just did not have a lot to do over the Summer. Because of this, I spent a lot of time cooped up in my room, talking to friends I had met online, and playing games.
One game I got extremely involved in was a visual novel called Va-11 Hal-1, which is pronounced Valhalla. I normally just call it va11. It is one of the many games that made me romanticize the idea of bartending, and also one of the only games I know of where you will at times work with and serve drinks to dogs.
Photo courtesy of Sukeban Games
The game is based around making drinks, serving people what they want, paying attention to what they say, and making enough money to not get kicked out. Jill, the main character, will sometimes want different things that you can buy from a store, and will get distracted if you do not buy them. When she is distracted, she will not remember the drinks people asked for, so you will have to take note for yourself. As a result, a fair amount of effort is devoted to getting perfect service bonuses every night, being able to buy the items you can afford, and making rent.
Photo courtesy of Sukeban Games
The part of the game I feel is the most important, are the connections that Jill makes. Jill’s boss is a strong woman with a cybernetic arm who is a fan of wrestling, and Jill has the biggest crush on her. You get to see the two spend time together and grow and see her cheer Jill up at times. It feels like a nice and happy conclusion to things when Jill and her boss go on vacation together in the end.
Photo courtesy of Sukeban Games
Beyond this, there are so many friendships that Jill forms throughout the game. Some of the events and arcs in the game will have conclusions if you serve these people the right things. If you serve a popular idol a tea that you had to have previously bought, you will later get tickets to her concert and Jill will go to it in the epilogue. For many of Jill’s friends and stranger patrons, similar events will happen in the epilogue. Some clients; however, do not have clean ending scenes. Just like in life, you learn more about their story and recontextualize their previous actions. You learn more about the person, but there is no true conclusion.
Va-11 Hall-a was a game that made me realize just how powerful and real characters in media can feel. For a while I got to feel like Jill. I got to connect with these people and feel like I had friends in a time when I did not. Years later, I still like to return the game, but now I am coming from a totally different place in my life. I finally have the friendships I have craved for so long, but I still know I need to strive for more. It is so easy for me to become lazy, to say, “Well, I don’t need to put in any more effort because I have some connections.” Now halfway through the semester, I feel like I missed out on opportunities to connect. I have to put in extra effort because I did not at the start.
When I listen to the lyrics of a song from Va11, it feels like it connects in the most wonderfully happy way possible. When I relistened to a bonus track from Va11, called “Shine Spark” and I heard the final line of the song, “You are right where you belong” it felt like it finally, truly, fully connected. Sometimes, we just need to keep on moving and keep on pushing until we all find ourselves right where we belong.