Sometimes I truly feel like I am Idina Menzel, or Adele Dazeem, if you are John Travolta, but it is not that awesomely talented, award winning Broadway voice of hers that draws me to make such a comparison; It is the fact that my hair’s favorite song seems to be “Defying Gravity” from Wicked.
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Now, for some that may not be a problem. Some curly hair girls can pull it off. Me, I cannot because my hair does not defy the laws of physics with bouncy beautiful curls, rather it defies gravity using the big F word: Frizz.
For me, frizz is my biggest enemy. It is the biggest enemy of my time, money, effort, and most importantly patience. Like many college students, I procrastinate frequently in life. I procrastinate in doing my work and doing my laundry, but most importantly, I procrastinate getting out of bed in the morning. I snooze and snooze, then I snooze some more, until there are fifteen minutes left before I need to leave my house and run to class.
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The thing is, like printers, curly hair senses fear, urgency, and anxiety, and will conveniently deliver you a rat’s nest for hair in the morning. That leaves you weighing your options as time slowly ticks by.
Should you go shower, or try and test out your new hat collection?
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You quickly decide that no hat could conquer The Monster today, so you jump in the shower with T-minus thirteen minutes left.
Now, for most girls with curly hair, we know that the shower is our reset button; however, what happens after each reset button is quite an unpredictable surprise. You could possibly come out with the softest bounciest looking curls ever or you could come out looking like you have just been electrocuted, but one must take their risks after all.
You jump out of the fastest shower you have ever taken and head straight to the mirror to assess the playing field. There is improvement, but it is nowhere near presentable yet, so you take a look at your counter and scan the millions of hair products. Your eyes skim over the brush and you laugh because you know that if you go down that road there is no going back.
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Then you see it. 7/10 times it works, and those are quite good odds for curly hair. You raise your fiercest weapon and apply knowing that the curly haired Monster will need an equally big “M” to combat it: Moisture.
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After many minutes of patting, scrunching, and applying product to your hair, while simultaneously brushing your teeth, your time is up. You grab your shoes in hand and sprint out the door, hoping to be able to put them on in the elevator.
It is only after you are out of the building that you realize something very important. You may have forgotten to put on proper pants. You turn back, and start working on the excuse you are going to give to your professor. “Sorry I was late. I was dealing with The Monster.”