Is there a word to describe a feeling of nostalgia for a time you’re currently living through? Is there a way to know you’re in a special moment and somehow slow time to savor it?Â
These are some of the questions my close friends and I have pondered, either over watered-down coffees whilst sitting in my car, in library “study” sessions and outside of Cooper Hall, and laying on bedroom floors late into the night. For us, December of 2024 marks the exact middle of our 4-year college career, and with it comes the realization that time is sneakily escaping us. As cliche as it sounds, it truly does feel like just yesterday that I moved in with my randomly-assigned roommate, learned the fastest route from my building to the library, and contended with the fact that I was, in a way, the most alone I had ever been. Since then it has barely been a year, yet myself and the people in my life have changed in profound ways that I had not anticipated. What is it about the years 18-20 that turn your world upside-down? Is it the freedom of adulthood without the experience? The weight of the world dropping on you all at once? The cosmically doomed “first love” that teaches you about heartbreak?
For my entire life, I’ve been warned about the wild, life-altering experience that is one’s 20s. Just as the myths 12 year-old me heard of teenagehood — of epic house parties and passing notes with class crushes — I would wager to say that the craziness of this time period is borne of its transformative power combined with, for many, being truly in control of one’s life for the first time. While my first year of college was rough, to say the least, the lessons I learned — the hard way — have shaped me into a better, more authentic version of myself. Academic failures, friendship loss, mental health issues, and genuine heartbreak are all catalysts for turning your life around…either that or you slowly drown. To balance it all, is a learning curve; knowing how much of yourself to give to your responsibilities, your relationships, your community, and yourself. You learn about other people and how to deal with them, how to know who is trustworthy, and who does not have your best interests at heart. All the while, if you’re lucky, you form genuine relationships with the people around you who are going through completely different — and simultaneously similar — life-altering events.Â
As time passes rapidly, I feel myself constantly worrying about how to make it last. While there are many things about this stage of life that I’ll one day be glad to leave behind, I can’t help but feel immense pressure not to “waste it.” Thinking your 20s are being ill-spent if you’re not doing everything you “should be” is a more accurate representation of the common experience rather than the painting of it being endless excitement and craziness. Despite the growing pains, there is so much beauty in these years, and so much to be learned from the people and experiences you may not even know are coming. As much as I want to slow time, to savor these years with these people that I love, the only true way to do so is to embrace and accept things for what they are. Go with the natural ebb and flow, and accept that whatever is meant for you, will be.Â