Earlier this year, British TV show ‘Heartstopper’ took the world by storm. Based on a graphic novel series by nonbinary author Alice Oseman, ‘Heartstopper’ follows the stories of Charlie Spring as he navigates secondary school, friendships, and being gay. Soon, Charlie meets rugby player Nick Nelson (played by Kit Connor), and an unlikely – and incredibly adorable– friendship forms, leading Nick to question his own sexuality, eventually coming out as bisexual.
While “Heartstopper” was not 18-year-old Kit Connor’s first on-screen role, it has become the one he is most known for. In 2019, he worked alongside many famous names as a young Elton John in ‘Rocketman’ and has had small roles in films such as ‘Ready Player One’, ’His Dark Materials’ and ‘Little Joe’. Recently, though, the focus on Kit hasn’t been praising his acting ability or his charming personality, but his sexuality.
As with many actors who take on queer roles, there is often speculation as to that person’s ability to not only demonstrate accurately the queer experience but also discussion is opened about the appropriateness of an assumed cis-het actor playing an LGBTQIA+ role. Much of this discourse, however, isn’t communicated in a respectful way that creates a space for queer voices and queer actors to tell their own stories, and is instead replaced by a dark, snarling abuse hurled at whoever the attacker sees fit.
And it is not only actors who experience this overwhelming public pressure. In September of 2020, bestselling author Becky Albertalli was forced to come out as bisexual through a touching but frustrating essay. Becky’s most popular works include “Simon vs The Homosapien’s Agenda” and “Leah on the Offbeat”, both of which explore what it means to be a queer teenager in America, and the niche difficulties that can come with that. Ever since “Simon” hit the shelves in 2015, Becky had been accused of queerbaiting and “profiting off of communities [she] had no connection to.” And naturally, after years of DMs like this, some explaining that she had no right to tell these stories and others blatantly threatening her, Becky was forced to tell the world that she– a thirty-seven-year-old woman- was bisexual. This pattern has repeated itself, sometimes shapeshifting, but remaining the same.
And its next target? Eighteen-year-old Kit Connor. He took to Twitter to write:
“Back for a minute. I’m bi. Congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. I think some of you missed the point of the show. Bye”
And he is totally right. The whole point of ‘Heartstopper’ was to create a safe space for a queer story about two boys falling in love. While it may have been Charlie’s journey, it was Nick who captured the hearts of many– his touching coming out scene to Mom (played by Olivia Coleman) was something that so many queer kids could relate to.
For a fanbase that is so quintessentially queer, whether that be literally or simply because of their love of a wholesome queer love story, it is incredibly disheartening to see that due to public pressure, Kit Connor felt forced to come out before he was ready. Many people forget that being unlabeled and queerbaiting are entirely different things. While it has largely been received with love and warm wishes, we have to ask ourselves, is this enough? The LGBTQIA+ community knows more than anyone how difficult it is to feel like we’re at the whims of everyone else’s opinion, which is why it’s so shocking to see that many of the people online criticizing ‘Heartstopper’, and more specifically Kit, are openly gay or LGBTQIA+.
When will it be enough? When will we stop harassing people to share something so private and personal with the whole world? From teenagers to ninety-year-olds, it will never be okay. Kit Connor was incredibly brave to come out, yes, but he should never have been put in that position. So next time you’re watching your favorite show and wonder if a queer character is being portrayed by a queer actor, it’s fine to speculate, to advocate for LGBTQIA+ talent, but it is never okay to take those issues directly to an actor who has never clarified their sexuality, because you may be the one troll that pushes them over the edge.