Your roaring 20s are known to be a social and energetic time. Whether it’s going to clubs, bars, or staying out until 3 am, you’re expected to “get all that partying out of your system.” Except, can you really remove an urge that was never there in the first place? As I’m entering my third year of college, I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that I don’t actually enjoy partying as much as I tricked myself into thinking. I had to separate how I “should” be acting from how I actually feel.
On social media, I would see all of my friends living the “college experience” and felt the pressure of doing this too. I would go to all the parties and ladies nights imaginable, yet I couldn’t help but feel extremely empty. I was confused as to why I was feeling so unfulfilled when surrounded with so many people. Shouldn’t I feel different? Shouldn’t I be having fun?
I was comforted in knowing I wasn’t the only one. A few months ago, the TikTok trend of “entering your grandma era” spread instantaneously. I noticed myself incorporating this into my vocabulary by identifying as a “grandma” if I wanted to go to bed early, read, or do crafts on the weekend. As the trend spread, I noticed how many people prefer doing activities other than partying. The terror of wasting my 20s dissipated as I realized I was deceived by social media illusion: those who post are the ones with elaborate weekend plans. Although plenty of people stay in, you won’t see that on Snapchat or Instagram.
Upon further reflection, I realized this phrase was concealing my shame, and actually perpetuating the narrative of what your 20s should be. By accepting the identity of a “grandma”, I was neglecting the possibility that a 20 year old can have different interests.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love to socialize. My preference for getting sleep to feel my best or doing activities that bring fulfilling joy are not ways to socially isolate myself. As I began to align with what I found pleasure in, I found others who did as well. The relationships I have created through doing these wholesome activities with others unlocked a whole new level of connection.
The next time you’re staying in on a Friday or Saturday night baking, reading, writing, drawing, making jewelry, or watching a movie, maybe you’re not a grandma, maybe you’re just roaring in a different way.