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Hook Up Horror Stories

If you haven't had the displeasure of experiencing one, you've probably at least heard someone else's.  I asked our Rams to disclose the dirty details of their most unfortunate on-campus intimate encounters and here's what they said...

Freshman Male

"I forgot to tell my roomate I was having a girl in the room so he walked in on me with this girl and quickly left. After 5 minutes, he got all his friends to sit outside my door, knocking, clapping and playing music really loudly outside my door. The girl I was with was really embarassed and doesn't talk to me anymore."

Senior Male

"Freshman year some random girl knocked on my door looking for her friend. I told her I had no idea who her friend was but she came in anyway. We ended up hooking up and then 3 days later I noticed a rash. I thought it was an STD and was so scared that I went to Health Services. Thank God it was only a bacterial infection from not showering after the gym. And that was the last time I ever had a one night stand. Go Rhody."

Junior Female

"Halloween 2014, I think everyone has their fair share of horror stories. I was dancing with a guy all night. We vibed well and the night seemed like it was going great. Out of no where he decided to kiss me, and it later turned out to be a very sloppy makeout session. He gave me his number and asked me to text him when I arrived back on campus. Well, there's nothing like a 2 a.m. trip to McDonald's to end a great time. So, I walk in, Halloween costume and all, and he's standing there. I thought this man was Prince charming in the dark. He was like a toad in the light. I don't know who was more shocked."

Sophomore Female

"I once hooked up with multiple guys at one party, and by multiple guys I mean five.  They all lived in the same house.  Yeah, I can only imagine how awkward that next morning was."

Junior Female

"One time someone was going down on me and they got a bloody noes in the middle of it. My bed looked like a murder scene, and it was probly the worst oral of my life."

Junior Female

"One night I had been drinking with my girlfriends and I called my FWB to come over.  We were doing our thing and I went down on him and ended up biting his penis. I didn't know until he told me the next morning."

Junior Female

"I was hooking up with this guy who I had hooked up with a semester before.  It had been hard making plans with him since he was an athlete and his schedule was tight.  Anyway, we're fooling around on his bed when he tells me he's now a born again virgin.  Meanwhile, here I am naked and panting on top of him.  Well, apparently BJ's don't matter to Jesus.  After he came he looked at me and said, "What happened to you only staying an hour?" I've never gotten dressed so fast in my life."

Junior Female

"After having sex with this guy we couldn't find the condom. I knew he wore one, but it wasn't on the bed or on his... Ya know.  I figured it was lost somewhere in his room.  I had really bad stomach ache the next day, but didn't think anything of it.  It wasn't until I was in the shower that I figured out why; the condom fell out."

Junior Female

"Freshman year I was in the middle of doing it with this kid from the Navy Prep Academy who was visiting URI.  His friend were sleeping on our carpet in our dorm room.  One of them was so drunk he suddenly got up and starting peeing around my dorm; on the walls, carpet, floor.  Anywhere he felt like it. We were both laying there naked on my bed screaming at him to stop peeing on my floor. I kicked them out after that, bought a new carpet and haven't seen them since." 

URI Her Campus President, Campus Correspondent & Editor in Chief! Jersey Girl. Public Relations & Communication Studies double major. Class of 2O17. Usually at the beach, probably petting the closest dog.
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