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The Definitive Ranking of Girl Scout Cookies

Things are looking up here at URI: the temperature is slowly making its way above freezing, spring break has arrived, but most important of all…wait for it… GIRL SCOUT COOKIES are currently being sold on campus.  This is not a joke people. With these delicious cookies In Hope, and he Union, there’s no way to avoid these sinfully delicious treats.  Don’t feel too guilty; these calories are for a good cause! 

It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.  If this means eating an entire sleeve by myself—I’ll take one for the team.  After thorough research, I’ve investigated which cookies deserve a badge of honor and which ones need to go back to training camp.

12. Cranberry Citrus Crisps

Tangy cranberry bits aren’t my cup of tea, but A+ for having no high-fructose corn syrup, and no artificial colors, flavors or sweeteners.  Super healthy.  Last on my list, but probably first on Michelle Obama’s.

11. Rah-Rah Raisins

Using the words “rah-rah” and “raisins” in the same sentence just feels wrong.  Not feeling the whole grain oats or Greek yogurt-flavored chunks.  My condolences to raisins, they’re the constant unwanted dinner guest.

10. Trios

Two words: gluten free.  Enough said.

9. Do-si-dos

I don’t like peanut butter so that explains their bias ranking, but for people who love it, I can see why these are so popular.  Substitute peanut butter with Nutella and we’ll be golden.

8. Tagalongs

@Do-si-dos RT

I may have decided to rank these pretty low, but every box sold helps a girl learn decision-making.  Right on!

7. Savannah Smiles

Powdered sugar dusted on anything can’t be bad and this lemon cookie wedge is a solid choice.  Cute name, by the way.

6. Lemonades

The lemon-flavored icing doesn’t overpower the shortbread cookie.  Great ratio.  But do we really need two lemon related options? I didn’t think people like lemons that much.

5. Toffee-tastic

“Indulgently rich, buttery cookies with sweet, crunchy golden toffee bits.” With the description on the box sounding like Ben & Jerry’s, it is not question that this cookie makes your mouth water.  But if it somehow doesn’t make your mouth water, hand back your sash and vest; are you even worthy?

4. Trefoils

This classic shortbread treat has become an icon with its trefoil shape.  Each box sold helps a Girl Scout build important people skills.  I’m helping the cause by using my people skills to purchase multiple boxes!  Sending virtual high-fives to every Girl Scout, ever.

3. Thanks-A-Lot

My message to the creator of this cookie: thanks a lot.  Seriously, so good.  It’s impossible to dislike something dipped in fudge.  Plus, it’s embossed with a thank you message in one of five languages.  It only seems fair if I eat one in every language…

2. Samoas

I’m in love with the coco—the toasted coconut, caramel sprinkled, chocolatey striped vanilla cookie, that is.  The coconut makes me feel healthy for a hot sec, but then the caramel and chocolate are all like “just kidding!”  A box of these will help a girl learn the business ethics, and by the looks of how successful this cookie is, business seems to be booming.

1. Thin Mints

SLAY.  These are the Beyoncé of the Girl Scout world: fresh and fierce.  Purchasing a box helps a girl learn money management.  These are sure fired to make bank in my eyes!

Girl Scouts are more than awesome cookies, however.  To learn more about the organization empowering young girls, visit http://www.girlscouts.org and find out how you can support the cause.  Girl Power, am I right ladies?
Jamie is a freshman Communication Studies major at the University of Rhode Island. While she is not mourning the loss of Chelsea Lately, she enjoys watching Saturday Night Live, taking Buzzfeed quizzes, or making the mistake of stalking Instagram food accounts while on an empty stomach. Sarcasm is her forte and she strongly believes in leggings and reality television; if she cannot be a Kardashian, at least she can write about them.
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