1. So you’re from Long Island, is that like Staten Island?
No, quite the opposite actually.
2. Do you know the Long Island medium?
Nope.
3. OMG I love your accent!
What is this thing you call an “accent?”
4. When New Jerseyans try and tell us their pizza and bagels are better…
6. Lacrosse is a religion.
Not all of us played, but yes; lacrosse is to Long Islanders as football is to Texans. And all the girls are, “laxitutes.”
7. We can buy beer anywhere.
Except liquor stores…
8. Suffolk County and Nassau County are very, very different.
Suffolk is obviously better (631 > 516).
9. Our parents are most likely from Queens.
Which, yes, is technically on the Island, (and so is Brooklyn).
10. Our grandparents live in Florida.
… And when we retire, we will probably move there too.
11. “Do you go to the Hamptons a lot?”
No. Contrary to Gossip Girl, the Hamptons are completely overrated.
12. North shore beaches small, rocky, and unpleasant unlike the South Shore.
AKA: Smith Point, Robert Moses, and Long Beach.
11. Your first concert was at Jones Beach.
If your parents didn’t take you to a summer concert at Jones when you were little, your childhood was not done right.
12. Manhattan to us is just “the city.”
Not Queens, Brooklyn, or the Bronx.
13. You’ve spent numerous nights pregaming the city on the LIRR.
If you haven’t spent a train ride drinking a Four Loko from a paper bag, you’re not from LI.
14. Most people can’t pronounce the town’s names.
“Hauppauge, Ronkonkoma, Massapequa, and Comsewogue” is like a foreign language to visitors.
15. We’re known for our special iced tea.
There’s no surprise that one Long Island Iced Tea is all you need for a good night.
16. Half and half comes in a large styrofoam cup at the deli, it’s not something you put in your coffee.
… And we LOVE it.
17. We love to go wine tasting.
And to drink wine in general. Out east has the best wine country, with vineyards that go on for miles.
18. Every town thinks their bagel place, pizza place, deli, etc., is the best.
I can personally promise, you won’t regret a buffalo chicken slice from Manninos in Smithtown.
19. We’re aggressive.
“You can take the girl out of New York, but you cant take New York out of the girl.”
20. We live on Long Island, not in it.
Seriously? Common sense.
21. Never transfer at Jamaica.
For the love of God, if you ever take the LIRR, always transfer at Huntington.
22. Ralph’s Italian Ices is our second home in the summer.
Why would you go anywhere else?
23. There is always a diner open.
When its 3 a.m. and you just left the bar begging your friend for food, you can bet there’s a diner that’s open within walking distance.
24. “You either date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore.”- Billy Joel
South shore girls love this one and the north shore girls are like, “Whatever, I’m basically Jay Gatsby.”
25. You get sick pleasure from going into the Kings Park Psychatric Center in the middle of the night.
What is “trespassing?”
26. Going home for the holidays and knowing everyone is at their local bar.
This is one of a Long Islander’s favorite days of the year. You end up getting super hungover and eating tons of Thanksgiving food. But you’re still forced to talk to people from high school and catch up.
27. Sweet sixteens are more expensive than your parents wedding.
Like most of us from LI, we’ve either hosted or attended an over-extravagant Sweet Sixteen party that seemed more like a mini-wedding.
28. You’re extremely confused when you hear jargon from other states.
“Wicked,” “brick,” “bubbler,” “grinder,” and what the heck is “coffee milk???”
29. You harshly judge people from upstate NY.
Every Long Islander believes people from upstate aren’t really New Yorkers. And yes, this includes you, Westchester.
30. The traffic.
Driving somewhere that should take 20 minutes could take 45 depending on how bad the LIE is that day.
31. New Jersey Gas: $2.50 vs. Long Island Gas: $3.99
The injustice.
32. You are never more than 15-20 minutes away from the water.
When people tell us they have to drive for an hour and a half to go to the nearest beach, we can’t help but feel sorry for you.
33. Listening to 106.1 BLI on the way to school was a must.
“Hey guys, it’s Dana and Jayson in the morning.”
It was your favorite place as a kid. Then you grew up and realized it’s a cesspool of germs and band-aid filled wave pools.
35. You don’t realize how much you love it there until you leave.
When you leave Long Island to go to college, you never thought you’d miss it that much. All of a sudden you find yourself wishing you could go to your favorite pizza place for dinner, or bagel place for breakfast, or drive 5 minutes to the beach to watch the sunset.
We all know that feeling we get when you see the exit in Queens for the LIE and it feels amazing.