What “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” Did to Me

For a hopeless romantic with a cold heart, this feeling is pretty dang weird.


Okay, I should explain myself. Maybe you will relate and I won’t feel so alone in this. Hi, I’m a hopeless romantic with a cold heart. By this, I mean that I believe in the idea of falling in love, but I just don’t see myself falling in love. Lara Jean said: “Okay, umm...so love and dating? I love to read about it, and it’s fun to write about and to think about in my head, but when it's real...—” and then he said “What? It’s scary?” While she shook her head, and I felt that.

I get very happy when my friends are in healthy relationships, but as soon as a guy says hi to me, I freak out. Like, “stay away you sexy demon!” Oh, but I also have like a million crushes. I am not going to tell them, however, because what happens if they actually like me back? Hell no! Most people would say something like, “Worst case scenario, they don’t like you back.” But I’m not afraid of rejection, I’m more scared of the fact that maybe someone feels the same way. Not today, Satan!

I’m talking too much, let’s go straight to the point.  A couple of days ago I got a notification from Netflix on my phone saying something about this movie that the hopeless romantic side of me died for. To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Eye catching, right?

Does it ring a bell? I bet it does: everyone is obsessed with it, and well since I’m a basic b*tch, I am too. I rushed over to my comfy spot, my bed, and I watched that 1 hour and 39 minutes and let me just tell you— WAIT! Have you watched it yet? If the answer is a yes, keep reading. If not, go watch it. Go on, I’ll wait.

Oh hello, you’re back! Now, we can keep going—and let me just tell you that I died every time they kissed. Like holy sh*t, if she doesn’t end up with him, I will. *Spoiler alert* she does and I have never been so happy.

But, there's a problem. It's just a movie, that kind of love doesn’t exist in real life, at least in my world. Like Lara Jean said that love is scary, because “the more people that you let into your life, the more can just walk right out.” No one is just going to be my pretend-boyfriend and then fall in love with me, no one is going to wait in a hot tub for me to show up, kinky right? But it just won't happen, because a love like that only happens in movies.

That’s just the cold hearted b*tch part of me talking though, the hopeless romantic one dreams of the day, where I will find a guy great enough to not mind falling in love. The kind of love that makes my eyes twinkle and my heart skip a couple of beats. The cheesy feeling and those cliché settings that seem perfect for a Wattpad story. Someone who makes me happy for no reason and not having a care in the world because for once, the world is wonderful. Ew, I want that.

Why?! I was so perfectly fine, you know. Being single and all that fun stuff, but no, Lara Jean had to come and fall in love with the most perfect guy and he had to like her back, as if that could happen in real life!

Now I want to fall in love. Ew, I never thought I would say that. Not just any love though, I want the pure kind, but I’m not going to repeat myself, for I’m totally disgusted.


Okay, overall, it’s a great movie. If you read this whole thing and even went through the spoilers, you should watch it if you haven’t already. I promise you won’t regret it, unless you are a hopeless romantic with a cold heart like me. Don’t watch it, it’s a trap. (Says while watching it a fourth time.)