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Sex + Relationships

Valentine’s Day Letter for the Heartbroken

When we lose something or someone we love, it’s easy to get lost in the memories and obsess over what, how, and when things went wrong. Trying to fix it in our heads comes to us almost naturally, because if we can find a way to solve it, maybe it isn’t broken. Sadly, we find many ways to repair what’s already broken, yet nothing seems to work, so we keep living with the illusion that some part of what we love still loves us.

I wish that I could tell you it’s going to be alright and that you would just believe it, because it will, even if we are not there yet. Our world is a mess, the pain isn’t pretty, and we can’t seem to move forward, because we are heartbroken and that’s okay.

Sometimes, things happen and we are forced to let go, move on, and take on the future we are just not ready for. Let’s take our time to acknowledge that sometimes life happens before we are ready for it, which kinda sucks, yet kinda doesn’t. It's nice to have this very clear. You see, usually, when we think of letting go, we think of something or someone that we love, but never really notice that it’s so much more than that. Letting go can mean many things: we can let go of pain, fantasies, and expectations. Letting go can mean that we will heal from “falling in love,” for every now and then we fall too hard and no one catches us and that's why we are broken.

Letting go doesn’t have to be fast or slow, it happens in a series of stop and go’s. It’s okay to go to sleep with our world turned upside down, then wake up feeling fresh and new and then doing it all over again. It's a process. Take your time, no one's waiting, because no one can let go for you.


Keep in mind that someday, one way or another, you will accept that they are gone. That there is nothing we can do, that no matter how much we beg, they won’t come back and it won’t matter. Right now it hurts. It hurts to breathe, eat, talk, smile; it hurts to live, but that crack in our hearts will not seem that big very soon, because it will be filled with acceptance. It will be filled with joy, oh I promise. This feeling of emptiness will be filled soon, don’t forget it.

We are pieces that will soon bloom into something beautiful, not because we were broken, but also because of how we will feel afterwards. Our wounds will heal and we will be so much stronger, for we will learn that if we could have done anything for something or someone else, we can do it for ourselves. Just don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Maybe we aren’t ready to take on that future, but we will at some point and it will be time for them to be ready for us.


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