I still remember when people started looking at me a bit differently. I was a shy, angsty 12 year old who had transferred schools a few times, and making friends was definitely not the easiest thing. Having acne also didn’t help. I was called names, ridiculed, and made fun of, all for something I had zero control over.
As a pre-teen who was barely starting to enter the world, it’s so absurdly easy to mold your perception of yourself based on what others think of you, say of you, what other girls look like, what boys say they like, and what magazines say you should look like. It’s like you’re bombarded with expectations and unworldly pressure from the moment you enter your teenage years, and this never really goes away, does it?
Acne isn’t this rare phenomenon either, nor is it limited to early teenage years. Acne is experienced by 85% of people ages 12-24, with 50% of women in their 20s reporting it. Additionally, 12% of men in their 40’s also experience acne (Yale Medicine).
I’ve struggled with my self image and self esteem since I can remember. Acne is something that you simply cannot hide; it’s there for the world to see, and for the mirror to remind you of it every time you pass by one. In shorter terms, it sucks. And what I have found sucks even more is the unsolicited advice:
“Drink more water!”
“Maybe you should wash your face.”
“O.M.G! I would die If i had breakouts.”
Thank you, but I did not ask. Only those of us who struggle with skin issues know all the time, effort, and money we constantly spend trying to reduce the appearance of said issues. Whether it’s going to the dermatologist or an esthetician, trying new washes or serums, buying makeup to try and hide everything, or being bombarded with trends and products every other Tik-Tok we scroll past because god forbid your skin looks anything other than porcelain or glass. Or maybe it’s all the time we’ve spent crying and feeling ugly, canceling plans and refusing to go outside because we don’t want anyone to look at us or having to deal with all the unsolicited comments. It is exhausting.
Acne can occur due to medical conditions like endocrine disorders, hormonal changes, some medication, etc. So it isn’t always a straightforward thing to address, nor is it something we have complete control over.
It’s also a misconception that it’s always caused by a lack of hygiene: “Acne isn’t caused by dirty skin. In fact, scrubbing the skin too hard or cleansing with harsh soaps or chemicals irritates the skin and can make acne worse” (Mayo Clinic).
Of course, acne isn’t the only skin condition that can manifest or aggravate one’s mental and emotional health. Psoriasis, a long term and often painful condition, affects around 3% of adults in the United States and among the complications are mental health issues like depression. Another chronic skin condition is Atopic Dermatitis, which affects 10% of Americans and is also associated with depression and anxiety along with many other complications (Mayo Clinic).
I spent all of my school life and a good chunk of my college years feeling so bad about myself, constantly wishing my skin just cooperated with me. And so you can imagine my shock when every now and then, someone would call me pretty. Or when I woke up, looked in the mirror, and didn’t hate my reflection. It was a dizzying transition, to just stop caring about it so much. I’m not really sure what happened inside my brain, but at some point I just said to myself “There’s no reason I should hate myself for something I can’t control” and so I decided to challenge myself every day to just not care. I stopped wearing makeup to classes, I stopped dissecting my face in the bathroom before every shower. It was very uncomfortable at times, I won’t lie, but then I would go out, laugh, have the best day ever, and not think of my skin once.
I think that’s when it clicked for me that I should just allow myself to exist as is, and love whatever my skin decided to look like.
I still am loyal to my skin care, and I still get frustrated every now and then, but it no longer overpowers my every thought. I feel beautiful, and I know I am.
Know this:
You are beautiful and worthy of feeling free, happy, and comfortable in your own skin.
You don’t need to spend your precious time attempting to fit into what society says you should look like when you are absolutely breathtaking as you are.