Congratulations! The Year of 2020 is almost over, and now it is time to intentionally look back and reflect on this terrible chapter to give it an end and prepare yourself for its closure. However, I must first pause before starting this exercise, and say the following:
I am very proud of what you have accomplished throughout this rough year, by only existing and being you, above all else.
This means that you really need to stop and smell the roses, and see that possibilities CAN be considered. Therefore, the need of a perspective to recognize your progress to understand that you have moved forward, even if it looks like you just moved backwards. But really, it was just you pivoting towards your greatest desires -the ultimate goal in life- to be happy. So without further ado, I’ll show you five perspectives to consider when sitting at your table eating turkey for the first time alone or with few family members or during this Thanksgiving week.
1. Thanks Mom, Dad or [Please insert any member of your family that raised you]
I’m pretty sure this perspective hit you hard, because for the 1,000+ times you keep reminiscing when your mom or dad or any other member of your family told you from a young age to wash your hands before eating, clean your teeth and even the most obvious, taking a shower. You know now, as a grown up, that these basic needs really helped in building up good hygiene habits which even trained you to establish other types of habits. And even if it sounds silly and annoying, the need of constant reminders from people around you has helped you prevent infections, and keep up with these bizarre times. Consequently, all of what your parents advised makes significant sense now. Don’t you think?
Furthermore, we shouldn’t forget that those who raised you were also looking out for your physiology; constantly asking if you’ve been eating well, exercising, going out for a sun bath, and breathing correctly. Yes, these are tough times, so if you haven’t had a good time to do so (and have been living like a vampire and avoiding contact with nature), I strongly suggest you take at least a 5 minute breather. Go outside and inhale fresh air from a safe distance, and possibly away from neighbors. So by all means, treat yourself well, rest, and try again. Lastly, please send my thanks to your family’s tough cookies who built up some character in you.
2. “You can make it, having what you have right now” Mantra
According to The Wizard of Oz movie: There’s no place like home, but for sure, home is where your heart is. So knowing this, you can place your heart in the right place. Therefore, don’t be hesitant to bring peace to yourself by guarding and cultivating your good mental health along with the right emotional tools you need to thrive. As for anything else bringing turmoil to your life, including toxic relationships and habits, release it as soon as you can to move on and be thankful that it is in the past.
If you are feeling insecure, look to those who have less than you and remember that sometimes less is more. When you begin trusting in yourself and your abilities, you can start transforming bad situations into good ones by using what you have at your disposal. That way, you’ll quickly learn to see that limits are just in our minds and that a strong will is a key factor for success in life. Thus, do not ever forget repeating this mantra to yourself: “I can do this, having what I have right now” and do it! Most importantly, do not forget to nourish and execute your creativity, since there’s always 50 points for Gryffindor waiting! But seriously, creativity will open you doors to better connections and even better job offers if you know how to use it and channel it.
3. You got a Friend in Me
Sometimes we can’t find some life solutions on our own, thus the need to reach out for help. This is why family and chosen family (friends) are always there to have your back. But most importantly, friends can come and go to teach you great life lessons of what to do and NOT to do in terms of behavioural, professional, and even love tactics. So please, do thank them (even silently if you’re not friends anymore) for what they have shown you and the time they have gifted you with.
However, remember we should not beat ourselves if we haven’t found the right people in our lives. However, you must keep looking for the right people, if you haven’t yet. Keep in mind what you have been doing wrong, if that’s the case, and how you can create a better communication approach. Furthermore, friends and partners are made and kept in hard times and by how constant and transparent you maintain communication with them. Finally, keep on attracting them with your respectful honesty and affection and don’t forget to sing “You got a Friend in Me” if you recently or already have them, as a token of appreciation.
4. Who’s that [human] , I see…. Staring straight back at me…
Yes, I intentionally used the main chorus of the song “Reflection” from the original Disney movie Mulan to let you know that looking straight into your eyes can awaken truths of gratitude. I know, sometimes it is not easy to have these types of conversations, because we tend to be afraid of being alone with ourselves to begin with. However, you must understand we pass a great deal of time alone -whether it be forced or not-, and no one will take better care of us than ourselves. Therefore, be kind to yourself and learn to accept and manage the demons that make you ugly. And of course, we all do, I do too. However, the key is in how you manage and work your bad attitudes in controlled environments with people that can assist you, whether with trusted friends or professionals, such as psychologists. You alone know how you operate, what upsets you, what makes you happy, sad, etc. Use that power to make it your strength and keep you content in life.
After you have handled any internal behavioral urges that you might still have, remember that you can also provoke your own happiness. By finding or creating purpose in your actions. So take time to identify what “sparks joy” for you, as Marie Kondo always instructs in her tidying journey. Trust the process for better positioning of your dreams. Finally, it is prohibited for you not to dream: you must dream in order to feel satisfied in life and minimize regrets. So do not forget to pat your shoulders and say thanks to yourself.
5. This is What I Always Wanted
It’s possible that from this perspective, you haven’t reached this step yet, because it involves you obtaining what you always wanted. However, imagination doesn’t have any boundaries. Now, imagine yourself obtaining what you have always wanted: What would you say to your past self? Yes, exactly: to keep on fighting. Your future self will be the first to thank you for all those hard days and nights you invested in getting where you are going to get in the near future. I know, I am talking very generically, but trust that this exercise will give you a better glance at the big picture. Where you’ll be able to put yourself into planning your future more assertively.
Finally, to reach self realization, all of us need a personalized plan. So my last words would be: Plan, plan, plan, even if it goes in the wrong direction, re-direct (pivot) and plan again under those new circumstances. That way, you’ll become more flexible, patient, and forgiving. Last, but not least, never forget that what you always wanted and that even if you change your mind, it is still in the same assumptions that you rewrote those wishes. To conclude your reading, I thank you for staying until the end, and hope these 5 perspectives serve you well in your present and future self. Remember, that bad times (like 2020) shall pass.