Rosimar Rodríguez disappeared on September 17th of 2020 in front of her house in Toa Baja, Puerto Rico. Suddenly, everything shattered. Twenty-one women went missing and six were killed, all in relation to gender violence in Puerto Rico. There were names, dates, and innumerable questions for the police. Via social media, Puerto Ricans were raising their voices, sharing information, and demanding justice. Hundreds of women, and men, were feeling scared and insecure of being alone in their houses or walking alone to their cars.
It was painful hearing about and looking at all of the beautiful names and faces of the missing women as they faded away, without justice. When they took one, they took all of us. Little did I know that something similar could have happened to me just a few days later.
On Sunday, September 27th, 2020, I encountered a situation just as I was arriving to work. For the first time ever, I felt discriminated against for being a woman. I could not enter the mall where I work because my clothes were ‘provocative’ and there was a new rule stating that, apparently, “women can’t wear clothes that look intimate or provocative” in said establishment.
I generously asked the police officer if he was serious about the rule, since I had been working there for over a year and they had never told me about it before. I was used to dressing the way I was dressed that day since part of my job is wearing the clothes I sell at the store I work in. I had to run over to my car and look for something to cover myself up. While coming back from my car, another police officer told me about the ‘new’ rule and said that the way I was dressed was provocative.
I was wearing long, white pants with a blue crop-top. I was mad at the way they referred to my clothes and the tone they spoke to me in. When I arrived at the store and told my boss, he made calls to headquarters to see what was up with this new rule. After he talked to some of the people in charge, we got to see the code of conduct of the mall, which read:
1. [Entry will be denied to those] Not being fully-clothed, walking without shoes or a shirt, or wearing underwear-like clothing. Entering and walking through the Shopping Center with hoods or costumes is not authorized.
As this was going on, I asked myself: who has the right to decide whether my clothes are provocative or not? The rule didn’t even state that “WOMEN cannot enter the premises dressed PROVOCATIVELY” as they had told me.
In fact, there was no new rule, as those were the conditions they applied to the old code of conduct when one would enter the shopping center. I immediately thought that if there was a new and more specific rule about the clothes, there should have at least been a sign outside that indicated types, fabrics, inches, or other particular specifics that were not permitted. If this was real, there had to be an exception for the employees who worked at stores and were required to wear clothing that is sold inside the store, because the management did not agree with the mall’s decision to enforce this policy.
After getting off work, I recorded a video expressing how I felt. I decided not to post it on my Instagram account because I thought that it wasn’t that important, or that I should be careful because I did not want to make a mess, but two days later, I posted it.
In two hours, I went viral. I was all over the news media in Puerto Rico, in yosoymolusco, and even got contacted for interviews in lamegapr with Molusco & los reyes de la punta, La X with El relajo, and then La terapia, among other things that I never thought would happen. I was receiving thousands of comments, likes, messages, and didn’t know what was happening. Women, as well as men, were thanking me for speaking out for them and the rights they should have. I was also contacted by Karina Maldonado who was producing a campaign named #EstamosHartas in honor of the twenty one, and more, women missing and killed in Puerto Rico. She wanted me to appear in the video to say a few lines. I talked to her, made an agreement, and the next day went for the video.
Everything that week felt like a mess. Women, and men, disappearing, being killed, lots of gender violence and discrimination, and then I was all over social media platforms for apparently ‘reporting’ the shopping center for what had happened, when I was just expressing myself.
Now, what you all possibly have been waiting for. The day I went to film the video for #EstamosHartas, I was assaulted. I was really happy with being able to support the movement in honor of those women, and then it fell all apart.
When I was heading out of the recording room, almost immediately, a car parked in front of me, and a man walked out telling me to give him everything I had as he threw me on the ground saying he would kill me. I felt completely powerless, and just did what he said, praying he wouldn’t rape or kill me.
When he took off, I got up from the floor, running and screaming for help, until someone let me borrow a phone. I called my mother, drowning in tears, and with my clothes, that were white, entirely stained in dirt. My makeup was ruined because I couldn’t stop crying.
After all the legal paperwork I filed against the man who assaulted me, and sleeping horribly that night, my mom asked me a question the following day. She asked why I was so sad instead of being happy that I was safe. I responded that I was a victim that was almost a victim.
Everything that happens to a woman indirectly affects each one of us, and sadly, I believe that if I had been a man leaving that recording studio, no one would have assaulted me. It’s frightening to live in a world where women are still powerless after everything we’ve fought for over the years.
I also couldn’t stop thinking about how Rosimar and the other girls felt while someone else snatched their lives away just because they wanted to. Since then, I’ve been experiencing anxiety attacks and other fears, but I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I feel more grateful than ever for life and not being one of the names or faces reported missing. I later talked to Karina Maldonado and decided to remain on the video’s release.
Sometimes, they try to tell us to slow down or to not use our voice, but we need to keep fighting for our rights—now more than ever. I implore every person, especially women, that have gone through these situations to talk about it even if they think it might be irrelevant. We hear you, we are here for you, and we have each other. This world is for everyone!