The other day I was talking to a friend, a man friend. We were arguing about how he felt women in their 20’s up to their 25’s are more mature than the men from their same age, and how they prefer sometimes, or relate better, with men above 25. Consequently, we talked about how women turn out to be more ‘emotional’ and less playful when they like someone on some occasions, and why they take things personally.
He asked me how I was so mature in my early 20’s. At first, I told him that it depends on the experiences the person has gone through, and that pushes them to grow in certain ways. Then, I told him that I had other thoughts going around. Basically, I expressed that I think differently. That’s when I told him that there are other things that turn me on, and other women as well, that are not sexual in nature (like they usually are for men).
Even though women can love sex, hanging out, drinking, or doing other superficial activities, they might not need it at all. Women always feel like they need to prove themselves to be better, to accomplish their own dreams. They are working hard day to day to be who they want to be, so much so that they often don’t care about the things society has traditionally taught them to be obsessed with, such as dressing up too much, fixing their hair, applying/retouching makeup, etc.
I think it has to do in some way with women’s rights and the evolution of their psychology through time. They had to fight so many barriers, especially our grandmothers and mothers, that they had no choice but to become stronger, smarter, and more mature. They had to learn how to hustle what they wanted to be and confront the world for it. It’s a lesson that has stayed in the grandmother-to-mother-to-daughter-relationship, telling their girls to have the ovaries to fight for whatever they wish and not settle with something or someone that forbids you from achieving it due to the mere fact of being a woman.
Another fact is that women’s puberty tends to happen faster, so girls inevitably learn to take care of themselves physically at a young age. Also, girls have different chores at home from boys. Usually, the girl is the one that cleans, does the dishes, cooks and takes care of the toddlers. This practically forces them to be more responsible on a daily basis.
So, women become very independent, individualistic and adapt easily to any environment. They are turned on by being alone, by pursuing their dreams, by looking in the mirror and saying “I did it”. Women get hot by dressing up for themselves, by sitting down with a cup of coffee and studying, by sweating at the gym, by singing alone in the car, by masturbating or having mojitos alone, by wearing sneakers and other things…
Women get turned on by sex, but not from anybody. They don’t need a superficial relationship or someone by their side with superficial interests like only wanting to hang out all the time, or a couch potato who refuses to study or work, or someone who exclusively hears and loves them on their “best”; i.e, when they have a full face of makeup on and a perfect manicure, dress in attractive clothing, or have a high libido 24/7.
They can easily suffer a breakdown or an unfortunate event, cry for a week and get back to life as usual. So if she encourages you to stay by her side, that means she that she feels like you have the maturity to understand her, to support her throughout life and the process of becoming herself, and of accomplishing what turns her on besides sex with you!
Women have each other; which is why I encourage you, girl readers, to follow @solamegusto on their Instagram page and buy and read their book. The women that run the Instagram profile, Larissa Pagán and Nazareth dos Santos, talk about all things self love and female sexuality. They basically provide anything and everything you need to know about self-pleasure for both cis and trans women. So, next time a man or a partner make you feel like sex is the only way to get turned on for real, think about all the wonderful nonsexual things that make you feel awesome; even if that includes doing certain activities on your own. Remember that you are your own person, and that, in the long run, only you can figure out what really and truly satisfies your cravings, ambitions, and desires.