Like many, my student life culminates this month. I have already met all the requirements and the only thing left to do is graduate. After all these years preparing to graduate, the day finally arrived. I thought that I would be happy, that I would be relieved that all my efforts were not in vain and that I would finally reap the fruits that I once sowed. But the truth is that after so much time and effort invested throughout my career, it is not as simple as I thought. This culmination stage brings a bittersweet taste to my mouth. I feel sad, happy, scared, excited and, most of all, anxious.
Friends who have already graduated have told me that it is normal to feel the way I feel, being filled with anxiety is normal, but they have advised me not to let it take over me during this culminating period and I understand why. In this graduation process, it is when we must trust ourselves the most, when we must be the calmest because the work is over. Even so, I can’t stop thinking that, from here on, nothing is set in stone, from here on, nothing is as safe as before. Back then, it was as simple as knowing what courses I had to take. Now, it is as if someone has started a timer that marks the beginning of my life. It sounds crazy and cliché, because I have been alive all this time, I am just graduating, but it is inevitable to have these feelings when my only life role was to be a student and to learn.
When everything I know is on the verge of changing, I ask myself if I am the only one going through this, and conversing with colleagues, they have confessed to me that I am not alone. This surprises me due to the lack of spaces to talk about this, almost as if it were taboo to talk about feeling lost in times like these. In my opinion, it should not be like that, I feel that there is courage in talking about these feelings. Courage because we cross the barrier of fear created by anxiety to question alternatives, ways to follow and try to find a remedy to feel in place again.
I know that this experience is not the norm, since many, after BA graduation, go to grad school or directly to a job and that is excellent. That sounds like an achievement to me and something that I am personally proud of as this has happened to several of my friends. I see them glow and feel in place and, although I want that for myself too, I do not see them with eyes of envy or jealousy. I see them with the eyes of a friend who knows that they have struggled a lot to get where they are, a friend who feels privileged to know and be part of their success and I hope they really know this, because I love them and my heart explodes with pride for them.
So, maybe that feeling of achievement, of realization, will come in due time. We are all different, so it makes sense for each of us to navigate this stage in a different way and at different times. What happens after graduation? I don’t know, and I’m afraid that there won’t be another article from me to shed light on the situation since, upon graduation, this is my last time speaking and advising you. What I do know and I can tell you is, enjoy the journey as much as you can, savor the feeling of being in place while you are a student. University really is a special time in our lives, and now, I look at those first weeks on campus as if they were yesterday. Those are the weeks that I will never forget, they were semesters that I will not forget, the professors, my mentors, the classmates, my friends, I will not forget anything about this stage. Because as long as I do not know what awaits me in the future, I am grateful for what was in my past. I want to thank, finally, Her Campus, for being the space I needed to connect with such a beautiful community, full of bright and creative people who were with me during all my years of university. I was the “Her” in HerCampus, alongside my peers, and I hope that I’ll keep that feeling with me even though I’ll be gone. I can’t wait to see how the chapter keeps growing and I’m eager to see what they’ll come up with next.Thanks to you also for always reading me, and making me feel heard, take good care of yourself.
Signing off with love, for the last time,
Paola Coral