In case you didn’t know, today is the two year anniversary of our very interesting article “A Collegiette’s Classification of UPR Men.” With this being said, we knew you always wondered how UPR women were like. It took us two years to find out the many stereotypes we have around campus. It has been a very tough road indeed, but with great patience, your wishes (from that time) are our command. Better late than never.
DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be generic, in no way we want to discriminate anyone based on their faculty. Its main purpose is to give the reader a good laugh.
CISO: Our favorite girls around campus. The “die hard” girls that live up to their faculty. The homo huelguistas always fight for what they believe in. Known for being outspoken, even if it means shoving down your throat many ideals. They’re very recognizable because of their divisions: Homo huelguistas calladas and homo huelguistas callejeras. The difference is based, like their brother, homo lumpen, on the type of shirt they’re wearing. Known for their ironic and contradictorial things, they will always show you how bad capitalism is, while handling their favorite Kate Spade bag. Their goal is to become Elle Woods.
Most likely to: Spend her allowance on clothes to wear for her next riot.
Derecho: If you don’t know the homo Woods, then you definitely shouldn’t be in this faculty. These girls idolize Elle Woods, their Fiction leader. They will always either wear vintage clothes, or you’ll see them with a suit ready to sue you. Let’s not forget exam season, they tend to be pretty difficult at those times.
Most Likely to: Sue you if you break up with them
Admi: If you tell me you’ve never dated a girl from this faculty, then trust me, I know you’re lying. The Homo fichu are known mostly for looking flawless while walking around their halls and secretly judging you. These girls are the life of the party, most of them already have a job when they graduate, all thanks to daddy. Also, you will always see them at Brava looking on point. Let me just give you a warning: if she’s with her boyfriend, don’t talk to her. She can be pretty harsh, almost as honest as your writer.
Most likely to: Be the daughter of a politician
Generales: I don’t have much to say about these girls. Homo undecisive, are basically known for wanting it all. So much knowledge, so much to choose. Why not all? They look perfectly adorable with their preppy clothes, a smile that will make you fall in love with them. I will never forget the look on their innocent eyes when they believed than an homo cabronus dated girls for long term. But decisions, will she want a pizza or a burger? You’ll never know.
Most Likely to: Make your dreams of dating a Prepa come true
Naturales:As a Naturales girl myself, I cannot hide my true homo estresora self. A homo estresora is known for her subdivision: homo estresora bipo. They have so many things to do, so little time. MCAT, Med School… and a social life? She can only pick two. That is, until the stress finally hits her hard enough that you’ll see her drinking with her T.A. at el Bori. At one moment you’ll see her smiling. And the other? Praying to the gods for her MCAT results to arrive while studying for the departamental. She’s recognized by her two outfits: her PJ’s or her jeans with the hoodie of the Ivy league she dreams of attending.
Most Likely to: Go crazy; Become a Mad Scientist
ARQUI and INGE: WAIT! There are girls here? Homo perdidas and homo mito actually exist. They’re just having a nap at los talleres. The urban legends admire their beauty while you’re here reading about their goddess like lives. But they can only be so quiet, so naive for so little time. They’re very good friends with homo estresoras, as they share a lot of many hopes and dreams, which involve finally finishing college so they could sleep.
Most likely to: Become a serial killer out of a breakdown
HUMA: They are known for the enchantments in writing and learning romance languages. Homo chilleo, are the simplest girls and the most fun to be around with. Flip flops or hipster look… you have it all in them. Doesn’t matter which faculty you’re from, they’ll always be there with their arms open, and give you the sweet taste of tranquility at el Teatro. You will always love their poetic references that you just don’t get because you’re not really that artsy.
Most Likely to: Write you a Poem or Draw you
COPU: Awww, how can I forget homo concursos? I swear that when the faculty was being created, the founders thought: “there must be a place to put these tall, model creatures” so that’s why COPU was created. Your future female journalists are ridiculously good looking, and they know it. Also, they’re very known for these phrases: “anda pa’l” “como que” and lastly “like”.
Most likely to: Be a former Miss Puerto Rico
Educación: One of the first faculties to be founded. I have always wondered if these girls had the hots for their teacher, so they wanted their future students to feel the same. Apart from this, they’re kind-hearted. Homo libidas are known for being the nicest spirits around campus. Their signature is being a cheerleader or a former athlete.
Most likely to be: Sharon Norbury