Being an only child can be a very lonely yet fulfilling experience; in the sense that you have a lot of alone time during your childhood to figure out the type of person you are, and what you enjoy or dislike. At least, that was what it was like in my case. I had older parents who couldn’t play with me all day, so I had to find ways to entertain myself as a child who had to be kept inside because of underlying conditions.
During these moments of contemplation, I found many things I enjoyed doing that helped me pass the time in lovely ways and by myself. But as I grew up and was able to get more involved with my friends and take up more responsibilities, hobbies weren’t a priority. This caused me to disconnect and lose interest in some of my hobbies for a while. Now, in my early twenties, I’ve realized how fundamental relaxation and hobbies are for one’s happiness. So, this is my journey of rediscovering the activities I had left behind and accepting their changes.
Starting Young
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An unhealthy obsession for pastimes doesn’t come naturally, you have to go through certain experiences to establish this condition. Being inside most of the time urges you to get creative as a kid when it comes to entertainment, especially if you don’t have any siblings to bother or care for. I found my first hobby in the first grade where I was mostly juggling large amounts of books and my favorite cartoons.
When my parents got me a Game Boy, I was introduced to the fascinating world of video games. After a couple of years of consistent gaming, I got into MovieStarPlanet and this game had forums where people would post their own original stories. This information blew my mind, and I wanted to be a part of it, so I started writing. However, that wasn’t enough, and because my writing needed to be brought to a visual, it was necessary for me to start drawing too.
By the time I was 15 years old, I had about six different hobbies under my belt, as I had also started crocheting and working out. I wasn’t doing all these hobbies consistently, since I had collected them throughout the years, and I had enough confidence to say these were my interests. Then, the older I got, the less I pursued these activities. Dating, going out with friends, and school became my everything. Once I got into college and started working, my hobbies became nonexistent.
Losing Touch
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I don’t know exactly when it started, but one day I realized that I had lost all of my interests. This didn’t happen overnight, instead, it was a slow transition that happened from my late teenage years to my early college years. This is a period in your life that’s swarming with changes and you tend to meet a lot of new people, and in my case, it was just like that. I went from cultivating hobbies and doing casual homework to consistently being out of my house to work or hangout. Meaning that the little time I spent at home was to turn in my college assignments or finish up any work for my after school activities.
My life became a clock in which every hour had a specific activity, and relaxing at home was not one of them. I hadn’t realized this specific loss was happening until I got physically worn down from such a fast life. During that period of rest, I was so unnerved about doing nothing, I would consistently scroll on my phone to distract myself from that uncomfortable feeling. One of those days, I realized that, in the past, this moment of solitude would have been a joyous experience. It would’ve been considered a day to do all the little things that made me happy, and that made me question: When did I lose interest in my hobbies, and why?
Funny thing is…
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After this occurrence, I wanted to dig back into these hobbies that I ironically claimed to still do, but I faced the following two issues: I couldn’t organize myself properly to fuel these activities, and I had way too many hobbies that I wanted to cater to. So, it just became this unhealthy thought in my head that made me believe I had to make time for every single hobby I used to do as a kid, and I would schedule which hobby I had to work on daily. It got to a point where these hobbies just became another chore on my list instead of a relaxing activity, and I came to the realization of why I had disconnected from my hobbies in the first place.
My current realization
Only recently I have realized that it’s okay to take it slow sometimes and cool down a bit. Pacing down not only in my professional and social life, but also in my free time. Hobbies have always defined my free time since childhood, and at one point I lost touch with them. Struggling and charting each one, however, made me realize it’s okay to go through this process. I have lost interest in hobbies I used to love, but now I have gotten the opportunity to nurture specific ones that actually feed my soul. So, my list of hobbies has shortened, but when I’m asked: “What do you like to do?” From now on, my answer will be sincere.