DISCLAIMER: This article was written from my personal point of view.
Being in 2016, you’d expect people to be more considerate. Or at least be respectful towards other people’s choices. Unfortunately, that’s not how things work. I always find myself thinking about a movie I’ve identified myself for years, called “Daydream Nation.” There’s a scene that always gets to me. The main lead is in the bathroom when another student goes in and starts calling her a slut because of the amount of guys that she has slept with.
Double standard, according to the dictionary, is “when a situation in which two people, groups, etc., are treated very differently from each other in a way that is unfair to one of them.” And it’s a way of life, apparently. Why can’t women explore their sexuality, without being frowned upon? Why can’t I be the one to make the decision of what to do with my body, without people telling me that I’ve been used too many times? Will there ever be a time when I meet a guy and he won’t ask my number?
I’ve experienced many frowns throughout my life. I was known for having many boyfriends. Losing your virginity in high school was a sin to many. My high school sweetheart and I sealed the deal on my senior year. Many of the people in my class had lost it, one would never think they’d be dissapointed that the class “nerd” would not be carrying her V-Card anymore. Wasn’t it fair for me to have had my fair share of fun? It was my decision, after all.
Moving on to college life, it was a different approach. Guys liked that you weren’t a virgin. Virginity was now taboo, therefore, you weren’t allowed to be one. The tables sort of switched. It’s okay for a girl to hold on to it, too, don’t get me wrong, but it got weirder. When someone actually had sex, an awkward staredown begins. Both extremes are completely okay. You are allowed to be the master of your body, even if you prefer waiting or having as many sexual partners as you please.
But you know what’s not okay? Walking around campus and seeing people shaming you for what you do or stopped doing. For example, do you think it’s okay for a person to get mad at the other one because the other refused to have sex? I’m tired of hearing “but we used to do this all the time,”or, “I’ve heard you’re really good.” You can’t expect a person to sleep with you because of what you hear. And even if it’s true, it’s none of your concern, and that does not give you a free ticket to go down on me. It also doesn’t give you a pass to try to pull up my skirt because you feel like it. And to the girls, do you think it’s funny to make fun of your gal because she did or didn’t sleep with a guy? Let her be.
I applause those who see that it’s more important to respect the girl and care for who she is (if it’s relationship wise), or just thinks she’s amazing, relentless of their status, even if it’s a one night stand. It’s acceptable for both individuals to have intercourse without being emotionally attached.
I like sex, and that’s completely okay. I am very open with my sexuality, I don’t care of what other people think of me. It’s my body and I make the rules. How many times have I been called a slut for doing what I like? For the times I had done things that are questionable. For the times I’ve had to say I accidentally hurt myself with something, and it was bruises from the night before, and secretly laughed when people believed me. For the nights I didn’t study, because I said to myself I deserved a night off. For the one night stands I helped my friends have, or even for starting a sexual relationship with a guy I fell madly in love with. Because this has been a wild ride, and as much as people hate to admit this, I don’t think morality has anything to do with sex. I think we’re all sluts one way or another, so we might as well just embrace it.