Girls supporting girls
What comes to your mind when you listen to this phrase? Maybe it’s simple, like don’t put down other girls for what they choose to do or what they want to wear. You may not realize the depth of this concept. Our world is filled with cruelty and hateful attitudes. Trying to find light can seem difficult, and for some, even painful. Therefore, supporting yourselves among girls, more than anything else, is an act of rebellion and an act of love. You have to be aware of the importance of having a sisterhood of women around you; they who will understand you better and with whom we should count on.
The western world is largely patriarchal and sexist values are deeply ingrained our culture. This is true to Puerto Rico and this is true to a lot of places in the United States. These values, if they can be called such, pit women against women. We have been thought that to look at each other as competition or as opponents: You have to be better than your partner’s ex; You have to dress better; It’s beauty or brains, darling! This should never be the case.
Other women are not your competition. Other women are your sisters. We may have differences between us, and that is normal but at the end of the day, there is no need for rivalry. We don’t have to all be the same to respect and care for each other.
The only gain that is achieved by creating quarrels between us is separation. That is the last thing we need today when we are surrounded by so many negative news, domestic abuse, oppression, femicide, and a lack of love and understanding.
We are all looking for consolation, for so many bad things. We are thirsty for love and the lap of our sisters is the key to our union. Together, we are able to form a community of girls who seek support and find it. One where it does not matter what your story is, all that matters is that you are accepted and you are valid.
You can always do the first step. It is easy to be empathetic with your fellow girls if you try it. Our experiences are very possibly parallel with each other. Why is this important? Because maybe when we are dealing with a situation to which we do not find a solution, a helping hand can be closer than we think. Educating each other about past experiences is a powerful gesture of love that helps us grow as sisters. We can exchange between ourselves the pieces of the puzzle that we were looking for. In the same vein, we can simply just start listening to each other.
Even then, if you have no similar experiences, it does not matter. When you feel the destructive urge to bring down another woman, take a step back. Ask yourself, “why are you doing this?” No matter what this person has done, no matter what you think of her, there is no need to do it to her. If you can’t empathize with this woman, think about how you would feel if someone broke you down.
Validation among us is also very important because being a woman does not have a rigid profile that we must submit to. We exist as a wide variety of women, each one different from the other and all of us, regardless of size, race, age, or any other factor, is valid. We are women and worthy of respect. That’s why you, as a woman, should never devalue another woman. On the contrary, we should seek to highlight the beauty of both because two suns definitely shine more than one. Don’t be the knife that stabs, be the arms of love that welcome. Hating each other and fighting each other is exactly what the system wants you to do.
We must try to cultivate a sense of sisterhood among us because we have to, period. We are part of a community that is oppressed through discrimination and sexism. Our most lethal weapon is a sisterhood. Instead of humiliating, pointing out and judging each other, we must validate ourselves among ourselves when perhaps nobody else does. Spread love, be kind and have fun. Keep shining girls!