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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UPR chapter.

There’s a point in any relationship where we all feel like crawling into a ball and bouncing away into an infinite distance. Confessing your love was an easier task than taking the next step: getting to know your in-laws. The odds of them approving of you in your partner’s life is frightening. And then new questions arise: How do I get them to like me? What should I say? What shouldn’t I say? Perhaps you’ve already met them, but you sense that the relationship needs further development. Luckily, here are some tips to assist you in your quest to become your in-law’s favorite child.

Share your achievements and future expectations

Start off on the right foot by establishing your personality, achievements, and future aspirations. Present yourself and let them know what you’re good at! Elaborate on your hobbies and past accomplishments education-wise, professional, or random highlights of your personal development. For instance, you can rewind your volleyball tournament victory or explain what motivated you on your crochet learning journey, etc. Be an open book and share the best moments of your life story.

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Don’t stay stuck in the past; talk about your future expectations as well! Whether they’re monetary, professional, or personal, being a visionary demonstrates that you have a clear mindset for the future, and it projects a sense of maturity due to your aspirations. That’s a key point that in-laws look for. Mentioning this point will favor your trustworthiness and prove your determination to your in-laws. After all, they want a secure future for their son or daughter. You are that future. 

Tip: It’s possible that your in-law enjoys the same hobbies as you, which creates a bond beyond the person you’re dating and establishes you as an individual!

Pinpoint bonding activities enjoyable to you and your in-law

Relationships are more than just exchanging words. Spend quality time by performing your favorite activities. Think about shopping, cooking, playing their sport of preference, or going on road trips; the options are endless! You can get simple yet creative, like going on picnics or helping them wash the car (they will appreciate this one a lot). In general, helping around the house will get you extra points. Regardless of which activity you choose, consider your in-laws’ entertainment preferences.

Ask about your partner’s childhood 

There are no bigger gossipers than our parents. They know everything about us, and so do your in-laws. Ask them about your partner’s childhood! In the best-case scenario, they will narrate fun adventures that your partner might’ve forgotten about. 

Be spontaneous

Now that you’ve prepped for the big judgment, save your notes in your denim pockets. Although it’s beneficial to prepare yourself for circumstances like this, try to keep it natural. Being spontaneous makes the interaction feel organic rather than forced and planned. I mean, have you ever tried to give a presentation word for word and it comes off awfully robotic? Same case here! Take a second to calm the nerves and let the interaction take its course. Remember, it’s all about developing a friendship! 

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BONUS: Avoid faking stuff for approval

If you’re trying to build a relationship with your in-laws, it means you’ll be in their son’s or daughter’s life for a while. Hence, at some point, your true self has to come out. That’s why it’s better to be your authentic self from the beginning.

Getting along with your in-laws is all about connecting, communicating, and being your true self. More than just a trial for approval, consider your in-laws as friends or secondary parents, as they will assist you and your partner in every step of your life. Don’t be discouraged; be yourself and enjoy their company to the fullest.

Kiara Roman is a writer and Social Media Co-Director of the Her Campus at UPR chapter. Through her articles she discusses a diverse spectrum of topics ranging from research analysis on animal abuse to listicles about cozy room decor. Her writing inclinations vary according to her momentary interests, which makes her one of the most diverse writers in the chapter. She has been part of several organizations including Pulso Estudiantil, Puntos de Fuga and Awkwardly Vain magazine. Her academic aspirations diverge as she studies Human Resources Management and Interdisciplinary Studies while engaging in multidisciplinary extracurriculars. Internship-focused experiences are at the top of her resume alongside communitary participation in her institution, Universidad de Puerto Rico, Rio Piedras Campus. A kaleidoscope of interests drive her curiosity into exploring new hobbies in art, literature, gastronomy, and sciences. Her free time is filled by imagined universes or video game-raging. Explore her next hyperfixation in her upcoming articles.