I got heartbroken, (a loud gasp is heard in the distance) is anybody surprised? So, following along with the theme, it can be difficult to grasp or verbalize emotions sometimes, especially if they’re raw, recent, and vulnerable. For me, an easy way to cope is through music, it makes me feel heard and connected to myself, the artist, and the audience that consumes their art. Having to let go, or being let go, of someone’s presence in your life is rough. An absence can resound very loudly in your heart and it’s difficult to encapsulate that range of feeling, but struggle no further. I’ve curated the perfect playlist to help go through the motions of those feelings and stages leading toward healing. I selected five songs, one for each of the five stages of grief and loss, along with some words to reminisce and feel everything out.
1) Denial
“The Heart Wants What It Wants” – Selena Gomez
Like the feeling of picking up sand and feeling it wither away between your fingers. This song can wrap you up and spit you out. Sometimes things have to end, even if it just isn’t what we want to happen. It can be very bizarre exposing oneself to such reckoning feelings just because of the familiarity of the hurt that comes from knowing and forgetting a person.
2) Depression
“Nutshell” – Alice in Chains
Seeing no light at the end of a tunnel you did not expect to be in is humbling, to say the least. This song, although short on verses, is a 4-minute amalgamation of strings and a melancholic melody that resonates so much. Personally, it was like stars aligned for me the first time I listened to this song.
3) Bargaining
“Just Give Me a Reason” – P!nk, ft.Nate Ruess
“We’re not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again.” Desperate times sometimes don’t call for desperate measures but oh do we try. The ache in your heart just can’t be satiated; the world is spinning; you’re looking for the north star, for some optimism, and it is dim.
4) Anger
“Muñeca de trapo” – La Oreja de Van Gogh
The resentment after having to let go is real! Letting it consume you and letting it all go is a wonderful euphoric feeling. Because how dare this person not know how amazing things could’ve been? It’s cold choosing silence and peace and it’s hot feeling the passion burn to ashes and turn into, not resentment, but rather indifference.
For all my non-Spanish speaking girliepops, I can also categorize “Gives you Hell” by The All-American Rejects as a good contender. In hindsight, I feel like both these songs are perfect to capture the transition of accepting you can be angry and that letting go doesn’t feel so bad.
5) Acceptance
“Evergreen” – Omar Apollo
This is the part where you understand that you can care; you can hurt; you can let go and feel sad about it.
Sometimes people don’t deserve the energy, love, or time you want to give. Nothing is linear and nothing is perfect. Yes, the good times were so good, but not perfect. Sometimes it’s better to be alone, let yourself settle, then be able to see the wonders that lay ahead. The curtain has closed. The chairs are all put up. The lights are out. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, it’ll pass.
These emotions can go in different directions. There’s quite literally no correct or incorrect order or way to feel them. But do feel them, it’s very healing and may music uplift you in your journey the way it did to me.