Something I’m working on is showing up the same to everyone.
The way I show up to my professor is different than who I am to my parents, friends, etc. To embody comfort in the world is to attain comfort in the mind.
It is hard to uncover authenticity. It can be even harder to maintain your realness when feeling like you’re not only still convincing yourself that you’re comfortable as you are, but also when you constantly feel the need to defend it.
I have always been a people pleaser, and with that comes adjusting how I present myself to different people in different settings. Now that I’m taking better care of my mental health by going to therapy, I recognize that this has set me back developmentally. I’m not sure that I know how to exist for myself yet. However, I’m learning that self-advocation is not negative and that what makes me happy will not always make others feel the same, and that’s okay.
It’s okay.
I wanted to list a few things that have helped me so far in identifying, and becoming more grounded in, who I am authentically.
- Reflect in the mornings: I usually like to journal anything that comes to mind so I can acknowledge and thus give worth to my thoughts. Your thoughts are valuable.
- Set boundaries: Ahhhh! Saying no is the hardest thing I’ll ever do, but remember, it is never bad to self-advocate. If you’re like me you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Let that go. What you’re afraid to say probably isn’t as personal as you’re thinking it is. At what point do you begin to put your needs first? ..Or even second or fifth? It isn’t selfish, it’s a preservation and protection strategy (if you need a name for it).
- Spend quality time with people who pour into you rather than those who take from you. People who add to your supply have accepted who you are. They have and they will continue to accept each new version of you because they love you. That’s love.