In the emergence of self-help culture and positivity, we are seeing positive affirmations and positive vibes in all the places we go. While we love to see it, it might be good to start asking if it is encouraging or counterproductive? It’s tough to always be positive 100% every day in and every day out. When we are covering our emotions with positive vibes, it suppresses our actual thoughts and feelings. Let’s be real with ourselves to accomplish more than we ever could with fake positivity.
It’s okay to feel unsure. We all have bad days and sometimes we lash out, but it does not make you any less deserving or worthy. Anxiety and stress will never go away, but it is up to us to understand what is causing it and how we challenge those feelings while decompressing. The real power of growth is being in tune with your mind and body to make sure you are understanding what’s going on inside you so that you can do the physical things that will take care of you inside and out.
My personal struggle with my growth journey was learning how to handle my anxiety, self-doubt and stop self-sabotaging. I told myself I was okay because I always reposted positive quotes and it showed everyone I was positive all the time, but it wasn’t the case. I bought self-help books and they slowly collected in the corner of my room. While they are all great things to do, it did not help me if I wasn’t going to be real with myself. I constantly feared that I wasn’t good enough and sabotaged myself in ways of extending my boundaries to please others, procrastinating, and feeling the need to do it all myself.
These are my personal tips that I stand by to help you begin your journey of being real with yourself. You deserve to feel the way you feel and overcome what you need to, instead of suppressing it.
- Find out what you are avoiding and figure out what you’ve been doing instead. It can be procrastination, unable to maintain a clean space, or excessive drinking or smoking. Typically for me, these are self-sabotaging actions whenever I am going through a stressful period in my life and I am unable to handle what’s going on. Figure out why you are avoiding it and how you can overcome it!
- Begin journaling your thoughts to stay connected. This helps you put your thoughts on a page, where no one else will be able to see it and you are able to express yourself freely. Write out all your feelings, thoughts, and emotions, and keep it or rip it up!
- Spend time with people who you trust will be real with you when you are slipping. Your closest friend, significant other, or trusted family member can help hold you accountable for your goals and actions. This person will not feed you fake positivity but will keep it honest with you to push you to keep going.