COVID-19 is going to play a big part in this story, unfortunately, since I was one of the lucky ones who got to exit my senior year of high school and enter my first year of college in the midst of the ongoing pandemic. :) So, seeing as this momentous era was spent inside, as you might imagine, I, like many other people, have had a lot of time to grow and reflect. My growth has been sort of illuminating throughout this time, and I’m not saying that I’ve completely changed, but circumstances have definitely allowed for some new learning opportunities and some major personal reflection.
I’m not the only one who absolutely did not expect my senior year of high school to end as it did; no senior-skip day, no senior trip, no senior internship, no regular graduation. Nothing. And for a long time, I was honestly so upset. To someone who has already gone through that and not seen any of the typical senior things as a big deal, my class was just overreacting. But it was genuinely really hard at first. All of the things we worked towards we didn’t get to fully enjoy. I’ve made peace with everything now as I am almost fully through my first year of college, but looking back on it I really wish things could’ve been different, for many reasons other than my own as well.
Coming out of high school and going into college has definitely shown me what a lot of people have said I would experience; you’re more yourself out of high school and you get different friends – things like that. Surprisingly enough, the changes I have noticed have all been in the social realm despite having been remote the entire year.
So, with that being said, here is how I have changed since leaving high school:
A major change I have noticed coming naturally but also something I have striven to do is to stop caring so much about what people think of me. I feel like that might sound far-fetched but I really have. I’ve just decided to do things for myself and just because I simply want to, rather than stopping and thinking of how people would respond or about the looks I would get. It always sounds easier said than done, but life is so short, so why shouldn’t I just do what I want when I want, instead of worrying about how I’m perceived by others? It really is clarifying when you take the time to implement mindsets like that into your life.
I’ve also been branching out and talking to more people I don’t know. In high school, even senior year, there was an unwritten rule that you don’t talk to people you aren’t already friends with, and it was socially limiting. Granted, I didn’t necessarily want to talk to all of the people in my school but still. College really just allows for more conversation since there are so many people you don’t know and we’re all just trying to make friends. In my classes now, I’ve been trying to speak up whenever I can and pushing myself to be more outgoing, especially when I have to carry the conversation in the Zoom breakout room because no one will talk… :’(
The third thing I have noticed is that I’m also not afraid of being alone in any school-related atmosphere. I’m looking forward to being on campus and having the opportunity to sit in the library, a cafe, or go to the gym and just enjoy the time I have with myself.
In high school, especially coming from middle school, there was a weird vibe about being alone; particularly when you’d go to get lunch. I don’t know why, I don’t know if it was in any other schools but it was weird. I’ve always been independent and willing to go do things by myself but in college, it’s a whole other feeling of freedom and independence that I am really eager to experience.
I still have a LOT more to experience in my next three years of college, especially since I’m not even on campus yet, but when I am, maybe in senior year, I can give an update on how I’ve grown. I am excited to go through life and see what the next few years allow me to do but I’m hoping it doesn’t give me too much of a struggle!