If there is a show out there that has taught me more about the world (and more about myself) than I could have ever imagined, it’s Sex and the City. If you’ve never watched this show before (in which case, drop everything right now and go do so, it will change your life) it’s about the laughs and loves of four besties-for-the-resties; writer and protagonist Carrie and her pals Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha. I will forever idolize Carrie Bradshaw and she is my WCW to infinity and beyond, but Charlotte and Samantha, who are complete polar opposites, are the two women on the show that have taught me the most valuable lessons.
Enter Charlotte York. She is by far the most optimistic of the girls when it comes to love, and knows exactly what it is that she wants; to be a wife. Throughout the show, Charlotte searches near and far to find her perfect groom-to-be, and is always filled with cheery advice when those fateful one-night-stands with her friends don’t work out, imploring them to hold out and wait for their knights in shining armor.
What I love so much about Charlotte is that she completely opens her heart at every chance she gets and not only does she show exactly how she feels, but she isn’t afraid of it. However, she also spends a majority of her time worrying about when she’s going to find her true love, her prince; so much so as to even try to force herself into changing just to be with a man (remember Trey?). Charlotte gave most of the men she dated a fighting chance because she was convinced that there was a chance that he could be “the one.”
Then we have Samantha Jones, possibly one of the greatest characters ever created. While the other three girls spent the entire series ultimately around one guy, Samantha was way more focused on playing the field. She always puts herself first, and never settles for less than what she knows she deserves. While Carrie had her dramatic (but epic) on again/off again relationship with Big, Miranda with Steve, and Charlotte with Trey and anyone else she could see herself marrying, Samantha constantly reminded the girls to let go of the things that weren’t meant for them, and to learn to build lives for themselves without always needing a guy in the picture. In matters of the heart, she puts it quite simply:
So maybe you’re more of a Charlotte, which I can relate to completely. Or maybe you’re a Samantha, in which case I applaud you for exuding that kind of confidence. But honestly, I think that it’s good to be a little bit of both. After all, Char and Sam both went through their respective share of men before finding sweet and considerate Harry, and the babe-st babe of all babes, Smith; and while you should never lose sight of the hope that there is that one perfect person out there for you somewhere, you should most importantly never lose sight of yourself. There will always be guys in your life, from the good to the bad to the irrevocably awkward, but in the mean time, maybe your twenties can be about you; how much can you see, how much can you do, how much can you learn. Maybe it can be about your true soulmates; your friends, who are basically inclined to love you (and listen to you complain) no matter what. “And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well then that’s just fabulous.”