Ladies, I’m sure many of you have been there, and if you haven’t, you are sure to be at some point in your life. Imagine that you’ve spent months joking and flirting with one of your best (and hottest) guy friends about “getting it on”. You’re single, he’s single, and you secretly think it sounds like fun, but you don’t want to make things weird. Then, you get a text from him at 2 AM on a weekend telling you to come over. It’s clear to both of you that you’re not going over there to play board games. You decide that it sounds like fun, and you spend the night at his place. Soon, you find this happening more and more with him, but you’re not dating this guy, you’re just having casual sex. What do you call this? It can get confusing. Friends with benefits is a pretty popular term. If you’ve got yourself a friend with benefits and have no idea how to handle it, look no further. Here are some tips to keep the relationship with your hookup fun and healthy.
1. Lay it all on the table. Before you get too far into it, have a talk with him about what you want. Tell him you just want to be friends with benefits, and make sure that’s what he wants too. This will help you avoid awkward situations later on. If it turns out he wants more, don’t let yourself get sucked in too far. Things could get messy.
2. Make the decision for yourself. Don’t let anyone else tell you what to do in this situation. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t feel pressured to do it. If it sounds like fun to you, go for it. The most important thing you need to worry about in an arrangement like this is yourself. Make yourself comfortable in the situation, and you’ll have way more fun and be more confident in yourself.
3. Don’t be awkward. When you run into him at Philly or in the library, don’t run away or feel embarrassed. Just have a casual conversation like you always do and remember: you guys were friends before, there’s no reason you can’t be friends now.
4. Keep up your friendship. This goes along with not being awkward. You guys were friends before, right? Don’t let that go away now! Keep your relationship during the day the same as it was before you started sleeping together. Grab a meal together once in a while, go on a coffee date, or do homework together. Whatever you used to do together, keep it up. Your relationship is the same, you’ve just spiced it up a little! (Also, if you feel uncomfortable being alone with him at first, suggest group outings with your other friends).
5. Be careful of your feelings. Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis had it right. Sometimes when two friends start having casual sex, one of them will fall for the other. If you sense that he’s starting to get googly eyes for you and you don’t feel the same way, stop having sex with him. Or vice versa; if you feel yourself falling for him and you don’t think he feels the same way, again, stop having sex with him. Be fair to him and be fair to yourself.
6. Don’t always expect him to make the first move. If he feels like he’s always the one doing the booty calling, he might start to think you’re not into it anymore and stop talking to you altogether. You’ve got to take some of the power into your own hands. Be spontaneous and be the first one to text him and tell him you’re up for a good time. He’ll come running, trust me!
7. Make it fun. The respect you guys have for each other as friends might make you more open to new experiences, so while you’ve got it, make it fun! Sex with no strings attached can be fun and exciting, but only if you make it that way.
Keep these tips in mind, and I guarantee a good and sexy time for both you and your guy!