Many of us are in relationships and let’s be honest, chances are we wouldn’t have it any other way. Being in a relationship, we find ourselves critical of other relationships. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in fact we can often learn from the troubles or habits of other couples. Some couples may not talk enough and, as a result, we make an effort to converse with our significant others more often than usual. Some couples may fight, picking out every little thing that their significant other does wrong, and we remind ourselves that we need to be more considerate. And then we have the couples who can’t get enough of each other, and not in a good way. The couples who are just that, a couple and nothing more, losing sight of all of the things that make them, well them.
A couple is made up of two people, two completely different individuals who, in order to be in a healthy, thriving relationship, need to remain individuals. Remember Heidi and Spencer? Two individuals who came together to form this toxic union, losing sight of their individual lives to do every little thing together. Heidi even went to college with Spencer – like, I’m sorry, he can’t drive and attend classes by himself?
That’s the thing. Relationships shouldn’t become toxic. They shouldn’t be dependent bonds of needy, obsessive individuals. They are meant to be cooperating combinations, ones that only make those involved better, more caring and generous. Healthy relationships truly do make you the person you wish you were. Because of your partner, maybe you become more confident, more forgiving, more loving. In healthy relationships you should only gain, not lose.
The sad part is there are many relationships, ones we have all witnessed, where we watch people lose. Lose sight of themselves, lose sight of their friends, lose sight of their loved ones. They no longer do the things that make them happy. They no longer find time to be just themselves.
Ask yourself now, if you are in a relationship, whether or not you feel like yourself. Whether or not you have given up things that you love. Take into consideration the next five things: if you can relate then maybe it is best you step back and find the happy medium of your happy relationship. If you can’t relate, well then consider yourself lucky that you are in a thriving relationship, one that only makes you a better you.
- Everyone needs friends. You need your girlfriends! Who else will binge eat and cry with you to the Notebook?! And let’s be honest, your guy really does need to drink beer and watch the game with someone who can actually talk about the last play call.
- You are allowed to hang out with your friends over your significant other. Your boo thing will always be there. And if he isn’t well then it’s his own fault. There are things that girls need that can only come from their best friends. Your boyfriend needs his friends just as much as you need yours. If you seriously make your guy hang out with you over a night out with his buddies then you really don’t care about him.
- You can spend some time apart. In fact, it is good. You have things you need to do, maybe just homework or catching up on some television. And frankly, he should have things he needs to do too, things that you can’t help him with and things you don’t need to be a part of.
- You do not need to talk 24/7. LIVE. A. LITTLE. Get off your phone. Seriously. We are busy collegiates. We have homework, classes, and jobs that need our attention more than our phones do. Sure, give your guy a call when you have a moment. Text him when you can. Don’t be afraid to keep him waiting because chances are he is plenty occupied himself! And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t talk to your guy, I’m just saying it shouldn’t absorb all of your free time.
- You really do need you time. If it hasn’t already been made clear, I swear there is a you in couple. How can you be the best person to your significant other if you cant be the best person to yourself? There’s no need to be paranoid, anxious, obsessive, or needy. If you are in a healthy relationship you should simply be confident that your boyfriend will support you NO MATTER WHAT. And he needs your support, too. He doesn’t need your foolish nonsense of “why don’t you text me” or “why won’t you hang out with me”. If he is busy with friends then take it as a sign to be busy with friends yourself! You need to be you.