Whether you’re both students moving home to different states over the summer or you lead different lives in different parts of the world, a long-distance relationship can happen for a multitude of reasons. Long distance can sometimes be the hardest relationship dynamic to work through, but it can also be the most rewarding. The specific circumstances you may find yourself in will differ between every relationship, but they will all require a whole lot of patience, intentionality and effort. Here’s a few tips and tricks to help you and your partner make it through the distance.
Find the communication method that works for YOU:
So often, the number one piece of advice that long-distance couples give to couples is to video or voice call each other every night. However, this isn’t always going to work for every couple’s schedule or lifestyle, especially as the time zones get further apart. Instead, find the level and form of communication that works best for your individual situation. For some, this may be minimal texting throughout the day and a phone call at night to check in with each other. For others, periodic texting throughout the day may be the only sustainable form of connection they can make. It’s important to have this conversation with your partner so that you can figure out how to work around your specific situation.
Plan visits so you have something to look forward to:
Depending on how far away you are from your partner or what your lifestyle is, visits on the weekend or once a month may not be affordable or realistic. You will often miss your partner and wish that you could see them; if you don’t know when you’ll see your partner next, the distance can seem very overwhelming and insurmountable and deepen those feelings of loneliness. Having visits planned in advance, even if those visits are months away, gives you something to look forward to and allows you to ground yourself in a timeline and combat the fears of the unknown.
Don’t find time for each other, make the time:
When a relationship exists almost entirely by phone, it can cause that relationship to feel like it’s flexible and not as pressing as the things actively going on around you. Life gets stressful and demanding and sometimes busy seasons of life are unavoidable. In these times, it’s so easy for your partner to fall on the back burner unless you take the time to prioritize them in your life. Try your best to find some consistency in your relationship by actively scheduling and setting aside time for each other instead of trying to fit each other in where you can.
Find ways to keep things exciting and fun:
After a while, long distance phone calls or movie nights may get boring or repetitive. But with distance being a limiting factor, it can be hard to find fun and unique ways to spice up your date nights over a phone. There are lots of interesting and innovative ways to connect with your partner digitally. You could both cook the same meal over video call and have dinner together. Pick a video game you both enjoy and can play together. Host a virtual book club or game night with friends. Create a shared playlist together to listen to at the gym or during the drive to visit. Share your screen on Zoom or stream on Discord to open up a plethora of possibilities like virtual tours through art museums or virtual walks on Google Maps. It’s all about getting creative.
Incorporate gifts and surprises for each other:
One of the most challenging parts of long distance is the lack of physical connection. When you’re living your relationship through a phone and unable to be physically present with another person, the relationship may not feel tangible at times. By sending each other little gifts or letters or planning fun surprises for each other, you’re able to bring some physical presence into your partner’s life — even if that presence isn’t your own. Utilizing the mail is perfect for long distance situations and shows that you’re thinking of your partner. It’s also an alternative way of connecting and saying to your partner that you love them.