Long distance is often seen as negative, unappealing and portrayed like they never work. Being in one, I can say at times they can be less desirable but the majority of the time I see it as positive. There’s definitely pros and cons that come with being in a relationship 93 miles away from your partner but since it’s our only option, I’m willing to do what it takes to be with him. This article wasn’t written to give you the magic answers to long-distance and guarantee success, but these are key points I have found to help facilitate a successful two-year relationship, long-distance.
Communication
This may seem like an obvious no-brainer, all relationships need good communication, right? Well, being in a relationship, miles away from your partner, means your only way of keeping the connection is through communication. In order to prevent lack of communication from becoming a frequent event, prioritize your boyfriend/girlfriend and try to set a plan. Having a conversation about communication and expectations can help both partners get on the same page.
Everyone has busy lives and some days are harder than others. There may be a day you can’t talk very often but that’s okay. With distance, you have to change your perspective and begin to look at things in a new light. Instead of thinking about how you hadn’t talked that day, be excited to start fresh tomorrow, with hopes of better communication!
Make Time for Each Other
Whether it be in person or over the phone, make sure you’re making time for each other. Often times, my boyfriend and I snapchat or text every so often during the day but make sure we have time to talk at night. We both try to set aside time to call or facetime each other every night if possible. Some days just become too busy or there’s a big exam coming up that needs your attention and that’s okay. Although not every day will be the best for communication, there needs to be more good days than bad.
Visits
During my freshman year of college, it was the first time my boyfriend and I had begun long distance and had quite the distance between us, 6-7 hours to be exact. Being that I was a freshman, I did not have a car, which made seeing each other a very difficult task. This year however, seeing each other has become so much easier and has greatly benefited our relationship. I now have a car and am only 2 hours away, this is nothing compared to last year! So far this year, we’ve been seeing each other every 2-3 weeks.
I think scheduling visits is so beneficial not only to the relationship but to your state of mind. If you know you have a visit coming up, you can look forward to seeing each other soon. I also think it’s really important to have another visit planned, if possible. What my boyfriend and I do is plan our next visit when we are coming to the end of a current one. What I mean by this is when our weekend together is almost over, we look at the calendar and figure out when the next time we’ll see each other is. This helped me knowing exactly when I will see him again instead of guessing and being unsure. It also makes the goodbyes easier knowing you will see your partner again and when.
Be Open About Your Feelings
Last year, my relationship hit a couple of bumps. It wasn’t easy to swallow the idea of you or your partner not being happy. Something that was caused this was that we weren’t completely transparent about our feelings. Being that you’re keeping a relationship afloat from miles apart, you have to be completely open and express EVERYTHING. All your feelings good, bad, the ugly have to be addressed so that you’re on the same page as your partner and so that they can be handled, when needed.
Be Honest with Yourself
If you’re entering a long-distance relationship or are already in one, you have to be honest about your feelings and intentions. Finding a balance between school, work and the relationship can be hard especially being that it takes so much work. If you can’t find the balance and you aren’t giving the relationship the attention it needs, it may not be successful. It’s hard to maintain and is not for everyone and that’s okay. With so many factors involved, the relationship is bound to be tested and whether it passes or not is up to the two people in it.
Long distance is challenging and isn’t for those who aren’t willing to put in the work. If long distance isn’t for you, be open and transparent about it with your partner to prevent any potential damage. If it is something you feel is worth trying, give it all you’ve got because it’ll need more attention than a regular relationship, like you may be used to.
Even though it may seem like a never-ending cycle between seeing each other and being apart, you have to remember why you’re doing this in the first place. For the right person, it’ll be worth it. Long distance may be a scary idea for you and your partner but once you get the hang of it, it’s not as hard as you think. With time, you and your partner will get into a routine and learn what works for you. I’m definitely not an expert or relationship counselor but I can say this is what I try to keep in mind while taking part in my long-distance relationship. Although there’s some hurdles and bumps along the way, coming up on two years long-distance, I’d say it is all worth it. I think my boyfriend and I can both agree this has made us stronger than before and seeing each other now is so much more valuable!