The other night I sat down to do my homework at the reasonable hour of 7 o’clock. I sat down at my desk with all of my books open, clean sheet of notebook paper ready, and a to-do list. I was so ready. Then I opened Spotify and had to find the right playlist. Of course, there was no playlist that would really get me ready to go, so I had to make a new one. This took 20 minutes, naturally, because it takes a special amount of care to get just the right songs. They all have to be amazing, you don’t want to skip anything. Then you have to enjoy the playlist. So for an hour, that’s what I did. And then I was all hyped up, so I was wandering around the room, finding things to do. Once I finally settled down, I was ready to go. But then I was exhausted. So I made a coffee. But I got this new coffee machine the other day, so it took me a while to figure out how to use it. Finally, I got it ready, but I had to wait for the coffee to be done before I could start my work so that I wouldn’t have to interrupt my work to get it. Then it was too hot, so I had to wait for it to cool down. Then my roommates got home, so I was talking to them, which went on for a while because we hadn’t seen each other all day. By the time I was back at my desk and ready to go. And it was 10 o’clock; I was still looking at about 3 hours of work ahead of me.
I bet you’re wondering, “Wow! How does she do that? I wanna be able to put things off as long as her!” Well, you’re in luck. Today, I’ll be sharing my top 5 tips to become a master procrastinator, just like me.
#1: Start at the beginning
If a paper is assigned in September but due in October, wait until October to start the research. You deserve that break. You really have to think about what you’re going to write about, you don’t want to rush into a topic. By waiting until the last minute to start research, you’re guaranteed to be writing the paper the night before.
#2: Tell yourself you will start tomorrow
If you tell yourself everyday that you’re going to start tomorrow, then eventually it will be true and you’ll get it done. Because at some point, you have to start tomorrow. Plus, you don’t feel like you’re putting it off for too long because it’s never for more than a day.
#3: Make a killer playlist
The only way to truly study is to have a great playlist behind you. Now, this could take a while, because it has to be perfect. No skips allowed. Good luck. If done correctly, it should eat up an hour of your time.
#4: Caffeinate
Now you’re probably nearing the due date and panic is setting in. The only way to fight panic is caffeine. Personally, I had to stop drinking RedBull once my consumption level reached borderline concerning, so coffee is usually the way to go. This is a critical step, as there’s likely an all-nighter heading your way.
#5: Buckle Up and get to work
We have reached the final and most upsetting stage of being a master procrastinator: The End. This is the time where you cannot procrastinate any longer, as the project is likely due in 24 hours or less. So get ready. Get that killer playlist and caffeine, put on your most comfortable sweatpants and get to a desk. The panic is evident and the fear of failing real. That being said, the panic and fear motivate like no other and before you know it, the project will be finished.
Now that you have the tools, it’s all in your hands. If you desire to become a true procrastinator, by all means, join me. If you prefer to be a good student with real time management skills, I guess that’s your choice. More power to you. To the rest of you: Good luck out there.