I love shopping, I love clothes, and I really love looking cute and stylish. There’s nothing that will make me feel better on a bad day than a cute outfit to help me feel confident. But it has taken me literal years to get here. In high school I went through a whole mess of different styles (and I honestly mean a mess- throwback to the bright orange striped crop top I loved 8th grade through sophomore year!). Looking back, I’ve always had a cool, distinct sense of style, but I’ve second guessed it until I didn’t know what I liked. Now I know what I like to wear, I’ve (mostly) stopped second guessing it, and I look forward to putting together outfits each day, not just putting on whatever shirt I grab first. Since I feel great with my newfound knowledge, I wanted to share some of the rules I’ve made for myself.
Only go shopping when you want to buy something specific.
Okay, so this doesn’t mean you can’t walk into a store and fall in love with a hat or some shoes that you didn’t plan for. This means you don’t even head to the mall without wanting something specific. This could be something as vague as “Oh I want something new and cute to wear next week at the job fair,” or something as targeted as “I want to go to American Eagle for a new pair of jeans.” I personally walk into Savers thinking that I need two pairs of pants and a new button down shirt, but of course I’ll browse the dress aisle to see if anything really jumps out. The point is that I don’t go shopping just because I’m bored. I used to do that, but then I’d come home with clothes I didn’t want, and a lot of regret. Only start the journey if you have a goal.
If you are on the fence about something, think about why before just buying it.
I am notorious for not being able to make a decision. Top that with absolutely zero impulse control, and you get a closet full of things you will never wear. I used to buy everything I thought I should like, even if I personally didn’t really like the style. That becomes very problematic, very quickly. Now I know that I need to slow down enough to figure out if I actually like something. The first step is figuring out how you feel on a scale of Oh-Absolutely-Yes to You-Must-Be-Joking-No. If you fall somewhere in the middle, think about why. Is it your size but you don’t love how it’s fitting? Go up or down a size and see how you feel then. Is it an iffy color on you but you love the style? See if there’s another color available, or if you could get it in a different color online. Do you know where you would wear it? Is it practical for that? I can’t even describe how many cute apple picking sweaters I’ve put back because while they were cute, they wouldn’t be good for outside, even with a jacket. Figure out why you’re on the fence, and if you’re really at the coin flipping stage of trying to decide, put it back and come back later. Let it settle in your mind and decide another time.
Learn basic sewing, or find someone who knows how to do it.
I had this shirt that was super cute. It was great as is, but I’d had it for a full year and had ever worn it. It just didn’t quite fit my style, so I got a pair of scissors and started to alter it a bit! I cut out a triangle in the chest and finished off the edges with a bit of hand sewing. Suddenly, it became something way more fitting to my style! I’ve had dresses that were cute when I got them, sure, but after some quick alterations fit better or were cuter, or just suited me more. Learning how to sew means that you can do some fun designing of your own, and aren’t at the mercy of the big fashion industries. Personal flair is a tool that I just can’t say enough good things about.
Do less online shopping out of boredom.
So this is pretty close to what I said before about shopping in person. I know, all those ads about the sales are really enticing, but do you really need to browse the entire website? Like I totally get the appeal, don’t get me wrong, but the point of online shopping should be to get something you like in an easy way, not just to get something because it was on sale and you had time to kill before class. Like I said before, only start the journey if you have a destination.
Stop looking at fashion trends to decide your personal style.
There is a pretty distinct difference, in my opinion, between fashion and style. Fashion keeps changing, from year to year and month to month. Fashion is runways and super tall, super thin, supermodels. Style though, is personal and pretty consistent. It takes far longer to change, and when you change your style you don’t necessarily have to throw out the whole closet and start again. If you see a trend in fashion that really speaks to you, go ahead and enjoy it! Add it to your style, fit it to how you like, but you don’t have to put it away when the trend goes away. The great thing about personal style is how many places you can pull ideas from. It’s all up to you. But don’t stop wearing something just because it isn’t “in” anymore.
Shop at second hand or thrift stores.
So not only is it cheaper and better environmentally to buy clothes second hand, you can find some really cool and fun pieces. It’s also so much fun to go and try to put together crazy outfits to try on with friends. I’ve found most of my wardrobe from places like thrift stores or yard sales, or even from family friends who ask me to donate some of their old stuff. There’s nothing like finding something you think is really cute when it’s not in a bigger store. Maybe it’s vintage, or kind of fancy, or there’s a small stain on a sleeve, but that makes it interesting, and you can make it your own. I’ve also discovered that I’m way more willing to take the risk of buying something when its under $10. Some of the most fun things I own come from thrift stores! It’s like walking into a giant costume closet. There’s no way to know what you’ll find.
Experiment with accessories.
Accessories are something that took me ages to figure out. I used to have all this jewelry that I never wore, tons of purses and bags left over from middle school, and exactly one belt that was only barely holding itself together. It took me quite a bit of experimentation, but now I’ve narrowed down what I tend to wear and what fits into my style into much smaller groups. I found out that I really like big purses, so now most of my bags are big. I like dangly, fun earrings, so I have a few that I wear on a more regular basis along with my fancy ones that I don’t pull out as often. I bought more belts, so I have some more for function than fashion, but others work perfectly for adding to dresses. I’d have never figured out what I liked though if I didn’t go through a long trial and error period.
Leave the shame at home- you make the rules.
The single most important thing I’ve discovered in cultivating a personal style is that fashion is made up. There are no fashion rules, and no fashion police. There’s no one waiting behind a bush to jump out at you on your way to class and yell that you broke the Holy Clothing Commandments. So long as you cover up everything you feel you need to, you should be fine. Personal style is just that. It’s personal. If you want to wear sweatpants and hoodies and throw your hair in a scrunchie, I totally support you. It sounds comfortable! If you want to wear lace tights and a dress with a tutu and a leather jacket? That honestly sounds so cool. If you like crop tops and high waisted skirts with chunky boots? Rock on! Jeans with librarian-esque sweaters and hair bows? Absolutely adorable.
The point is that people made up the rules about fashion and style and what’s allowed to be worn when. But you have the power to totally ignore those rules and make up your own. When I realized that the rules were fake and that I could wear literally whatever I wanted? It was so freeing. So now I go to class in the most stylish clothes I’ve ever had in my life. They’re stylish because they’re comfortable, they suit me, and because I say so. So when you’re getting dressed in the morning, pick out something that’s stylish- however you choose to define it.