If you had asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up before I read Becoming, my answer would have been, “I want to be Michelle Obama”. Now, let me clarify, I know I simply could not just grow up to be Michelle Obama, but in theory I could grow to mimic her exceptional qualities and dedication to serving for a greater purpose. In short, however, I wanted to be Michelle Obama as most teenage girls may want to be Charli D’Amelio. However, after finishing her book, my answer has changed. Honestly, if I still had this answer after reading her book and she knew, she would probably ask if I even understood her central message. I no longer want to grow up to be Michelle Obama, but not for why you may think. I absolutely fell in love with Becoming and the story she so articulately depicted. Her story. It just made me realize that now is the time to focus on becoming my own story.
All politics aside, I fully believe a woman of any age can appreciate her memoir. As she says herself, Mrs. Obama is “not a political person”. What’s more striking about the memoir is her eloquent navigation from childhood to middle adulthood, the modern trials of being a woman, and the barriers of growing up black in a predominantly black community that she uninhibitedly recounts.
As I began to read, the first few chapters surprised me. I would think that coming from two completely different backgrounds in two very different areas of the country, that we would not have much in common. After all, she was the First Lady of the United States for eight years. Meanwhile, I binge watch Netflix originals regularly. Yet, I immediately felt connected to her childhood devotion of excelling academically and the general discomfort she felt socially. Both of us came from homes where education was important and encouraged by our parents, but never forcefully thrust upon us. It was gifted to us and we obsessed over it. Although I will never be able to understand the added pressure of being a young black woman trying to academically excel in America, I related to her childhood and teenage years more than I could have guessed. What struck me most was her inner conflict about law school. I remember deciding between nursing and law. Two totally different fields, but for some reason I gravitated towards both of them. To find that a very successful woman felt the overwhelming burden of having to choose between what made her look like she found success versus what actually gave her purpose and happiness brought me comfort.
Who would guess that Michelle Obama was unsure about anything? Each chapter captivates the different unsureness she felt from college, to her career, to her relationship, to motherhood, to being the First Lady of the United States. Yet, she handled herself with grace through it all. When everyone went low, she always went high. She exemplifies herself without knowing it. Being a young woman and trying to find your greater purpose while matching society’s unrealistic expectations of creating a successful future all while trying to give back to your community is difficult. She knows that. She doesn’t masquerade her mistakes or minimize her feelings. She explores, she learns, and she forgives herself. I think every young woman owes that to herself, too.
I wouldn’t want to spoil the rest for you or inadequately summarize the sensational account of her own story. So, I’ll leave the review with this: her memoir changed the way I viewed myself. My perception on what’s worth fixating on, talking about, and thinking about changed. The world is much bigger than you and me, although she made my smallness feel a little more remarkable. She gets that. She gets that you have to focus on prioritizing yourself while giving back to the place that allows us to be ourselves. She gets that we have to change what about this place doesn’t allow certain people to freely be themselves. She gets that we can’t do this overnight or in a few years, but overtime we will be able to grow as a whole. After reading Becoming, I know that I must become for myself. College is when our identity starts. I must become who makes me happy, and so must you. Then, we will be able to project the voices of those we meet along the way so that they may also become. For some reason, she made me feel like I didn’t need to go to Princeton or Harvard law, or become the First Lady of the United States to do that. It all begins when you break a few societal rules.
So, now do you see why I no longer want to be Michelle Obama?